Relationships Towards Life and Procreation
Perhaps the main unconscious force, that drive men and women to seek a relationship, is procreation. Yes, the drive to live, exist, foreseen after death- so to remain in the foreshadows of one's own descendants- may be the selfish reason for seeking relationships. One view is that the pleasures of sex in the relationship serve no purpose other than reinforce, sustain and maintain the relation towards the above end.
Love and attachment may be the higher level translation of the above basic force. And the anxieties, generated by separation from relationships, may simply be basic fears of not living with the relationship long enough to leave behind the progeny- inherent by nature and prescribed in the bible, family, and social forces driving them.
Does the above mean that forming relationships is driven by fear of death, extinction, avoid pain and hate- or a pursuit of love, pleasure and procreation?
Relationships to Reduce Fear of Death
The higher translation of the above basic selfish internal force of sex and procreation to an externally attached meaning given to love, attachment and separations may complicate matters. To move up in the hierarchy of consciousness, with all the new trends of mindfulness- gravitating the inner self to the full awareness of the outer self- may activate the fuzzy gray areas of the brain-- and with it possible erroneous perceptions.
The move away from the lower basic force, that drive relationship seeking, to the higher perceptions, that complicate relationship seeking, may create fears of death in relation to relationships. And conversely, the relationship seeking and partner perception may reduce fear of death.
In March 2012 issue of the "Journal of Personality and Social ...." Cathy R. Cox and Jamie Arndt reported research findings showing that awareness of death could make people:
- who are anxious inflate the positive view of their parents about them
- inflate perceived considerateness of a partner- increasing commitment
- more committed to a partner perceived as considerate, which then reduces thoughts of death
- inflate their partner's perception of them
- who are anxious - insecure inflate the positive view of their parents about them
- who are secure inflate the positive view of their romantic partner about them
The above demonstrates that fear of death may too drive seeking romantic partners and the erroneous perceptions about the accuracy of mutual regard that then maintains that relationship. Given the above, the existential duality of life and death seems to be co-combined in seeking relationships.