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Why do people lie?

In preparation to write today’s article I googled, “Why do people lie?” It’s a question that is of particular interest to so many and I wanted to try and formulate an answer. Most of the time lies only hurt when they come from someone you care for and that you thought cared deeply for you. Lies hurt even when you already suspect that the person is being less than 100 percent genuine. Suspecting and having your suspicions confirmed are two completely different things. There is nothing like the sinking feeling you get in your stomach when you have been confronted with the truth.

Some start to question the validity of everyone around them when they discover they’ve been deceived by someone they care about. And some stick with the person that has lied hoping that they will never hurt them in that way again.

I never try to tell people what they should do with their relationships. However, I strongly suggest that if you are with someone that has lied or does lie to you, you may want to start considering leaving that person in your past. There are three major reasons to stop dealing with a person if they lie to you.

1. Trust is the foundation of any solid relationship. If you are thinking you will marry this person and live happily ever after, you might be setting yourself up for failure because this person has not earned your trust.


2. The seriousness of the lie doesn’t really matter. You are reading this article and thinking well he/she only lied about something small. Think about it this way, if they are lying about little stuff, for what reason do you have to believe they’d tell you the truth about something big?


3. Your happiness is important. If you are in a relationship with someone that you have to constantly wonder is what they are saying to you the whole truth, a half truth or a flat out lie, then you are going to be spending a lot of your time worrying about this one thing.

So the question still remains, why do people lie? Lying is something we learn as early as 3 years old. We learn to lie to protect ourselves. But according to psychology.suite101.com, learning to lie to protect someone else’s feelings is something we have to be taught. In the best case scenarios our lovers, spouses, significant others lie to us to protect our feelings. But at the end of the day what it boils down to is selfishness. People want what they want and they don’t want to have to give up something just to get something else they want. A man would lie to his girlfriend about dating other people perhaps to keep her feelings in tact but mostly to have his cake and eat it too.

The nice thing and bad thing about Kansas City is that it functions as a little big city. Meaning KC is small in the sense that everyone knows everyone else. It is going to be hard if you and your significant other run in the same circles to get away with lying. Eventually it is going to get back to him or her. Just one more reason I love my city!

for more info:

Truth About Deception

MSNBC

Comments

  • Tracey Haley 4 years ago

    We at times have to lie to our children when they are too young to understand heavy facts. I have lied to my teenagers because they were still too imature to handle the truth. But any adult that never matures is also an individual who cannot face truths and facts. If I am dealing with someone who I know can handle the facts and the truth, I will not lie to them. Otherwise, it just creates more conflict and I am not writing about infidelity, crimes etc, just regular life situations that some people want to avoid.
    People like to pray to God, but few are brave enough to let Him talk back to them through the books of Psamls, Isaiah, Jeremiah, if you really want an answer from Him, put your forehead to the floor, and open the Bible to Psalms< close your eyes< turn the pages until one is too heavy< open your eyes< and somewhere on those two pages< you will see your answer from God, be it a single word, or one sentence, or an entire psalm. His truth is a flaming fire, that will burn everyl vain thing out of your heart.

  • Profile picture of Drew Denny
    Drew Denny 4 years ago

    I am a strong believer that lying goes hand in hand with self confidence. If you are happy in your life without requiring others to support you, you're less likely to be a consistent liar. A lack of confidence and self respect kicks in a defense mechanism and an escape from reality. Love and respect yourself and the necessity to lie goes away.

  • Muriel Donnell 4 years ago

    I don't believe people lie to spare their significant other's feeling. I believe they lie because they love themselves more than the other person. They know that telling the truth about something they've done has the potential of leaving them alone. They are scared of what THEY could lose, not how YOU feel. No matter how many good points a person has at the end of the day someone who tells lies is usually very selfish and self-absorbed.

  • Pro Skills 3 years ago

    Hello Ms. Carroll,
    I hope you are well. I would also suggest that some people lie for selfish reasons. At the same time some people with a low selfesteem lie out of fear. Fear of not measuring up to the anticipated expectation that says the truth in question says that person can be accepted. In other words, if the lie can be believed then the person can be accepted. Just. An additional viewpoint. Enjoyed your writing.
    Take.
    Pro Skills

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