Falling in love is a progression that occurs over time—there are stages of romantic feelings, physical and emotional attachment, and often couples rush through any or all of those emotions—which could possibly create the potential to “fall” quickly.
Falling in love should be felt—lived, breathed in, felt from deep within (pain and joy equally)—or one of the greatest joys of it all could be missed—the experience of the fall.
Although it is easy to fall, in order to sustain any type of true and lasting love one must be able to move beyond the “falling” stage to a higher kind of love—if that love is expected to last a lifetime.
So what is the secret to falling and staying in love?
Being true to one’s self is crucial to any lasting, healthy relationship—whether it be a significant other, friend or family member. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love or care for anyone else. Falling in love is a lot like the garden we grow inside of ourselves—it takes constant work to weed and feed—when we fail to tend our garden, we are inhibiting its (our own) growth, and the growth of our potential love.
Love is an amazing experience but it, too, needs to be fed and kept alive. This is absolutely possible near or far, especially with the assistance of technology. Couples have found interesting ways to be creative, communicative and have even found new way to express themselves with heartfelt notes.
Love is basically all about expression; it is an amazing experience that can only be enhanced by traditional feeling and romance. Enjoying the fall also includes heartache and discovery, which are essential to growth.
With growth comes listening to your gut—your inner guide, or subconscious—which is simply another way to keep tabs on your progress. On occasion many may find that they receive such warning signs, or red flags, that require attention; other times some might find that these signs are simply a reality check.
It’s equally important to keep the lines of communication open with family and close friends as they will not lie or sugar coat—if something is amiss, they are more honest and supportive. Sometimes when we are directly involved we don’t see that something might be heading off track.
In essence, falling in love shouldn’t be about “falling too quickly”—it should be about “the fall.” It should be about sustaining that love and making it last.
Couples everywhere can tell you there really is no one specific secret to a lasting love—just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, love has no limitations on its intensification to the beholder.
Pam and Adam have been married 20-years, but have known each other for more than 30 years. Pam said their secret to falling in love is that they’re best friends. “If we’re angry,” said Pam, “We get it out and it’s done.” Her husband, Adam, agreed, and added; “We don’t hold anything back.”
Jose and Marisela Rivas have been married for 33 years and don’t regret a thing; Marisela said their marriage works beautifully because of “comprehension and understanding.”
Carolyn and John Aver share not only a passion for each other, but it shows in everything they do—including their family business, Aver Family Vineyards. Their secret according to John, is that there really is not just one secret he can share—they were lucky to have met and it’s always just worked. “We’ve always just been there for each other,” said John.
For those who don’t yet have a secret love this St. Valentine’s Day, just remember to wear a smile, be safe, have fun, and here is a little secret you can count on—Love comes when you least expect it.
