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Why a woman should set standards: Redefining a go-getter

young woman drinking
young woman drinking
Photo by: djcodrin free digital

After hanging out in downtown Atlanta, it was evident that men and women both were on the prowl. The women were approaching men just as quickly and as often as the men were approaching them. Men practically didn’t have to do anything, but sit back, stand confidently, sip on cognac, and await a beautiful lady to approach them. Amazingly, this works. This is the strategy of many men and the methodology of many women. Aggressive women in Atlanta, is prominent. Considering the ratio of women to men, women feel as if their choices are slim and they should go after what they want. This type of woman is sometimes referred to as a go-getter.

There’s nothing wrong with being a go-getter, but how far should a woman go to get what she wants. Do women have standards anymore?

According to Steve Harvey, his advice from his book, Act like a lady and Think like a Man, zeros in on this exact issue. In an article on (Comedian Steve Harvey: Women’s Standards too low) which references articles from, he states, “The problem is that women stop setting the bar.” So how high is the bar? Steve Harvey suggests women wait 90 days before becoming sexually involved. Is she less of a woman if she gives up, what he likes to call the, “cookie” before 90 days?

It doesn’t make a woman less of a woman if she decides to be sexual before 90 days, but what it does for sure is change the expectation and outlook of the relationship. There are risks and compromises that go along with the territory that will indefinitely determine the type of relationship that will be established. Watch how he refers to you? How does he introduce you to his friends? How does he communicate with you?

If he contacts you solely through text or social media, then expect that to be your primary communication line. If he introduces you by first name only, (without a title) then know that he has not defined you as relevant in his life. One thing men are is territorial. He will claim you if he feels that your worth in his life is valuable. It all depends on what you, as a woman, are looking for. Men will rise to the occasion regardless of your expectations if they decide you are what they want.

If anything women should communicate confidently and thoroughly what their expectations are in a relationship and of the person they are dating. If women fail to do so, and think that the “cookie” is the answer to keeping him from desiring other women, encouraging him to be more committed to the relationship, or resolving any conflict within the relationship, then our standards are low.
Having standards provide insight into the person that we are and how we value our worth. Knowing your worth as a woman redefines what it means to be a go-getter.



  • Felicia Maxwell 5 years ago

    Definitely dig your article. This is very similar to something I wrote for Examiner. Look me up if you have some free time. Atlanta Dating Rules Examiner.

  • Angela 5 years ago

    Thanks Felicia for checking me out. I will look you up and I'm glad you enjoyed the article.

    There's more to come. Keep reading and Thanks for your support!

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