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Who gets bullied?

Who gets bullied?
Who gets bullied?
Live Science

Studies show that children who are snubbed and bullied by their peers are more likely to have problems in other areas of their lives. Though this sounds like common sense, it isn't. Many times children are mistreated by their peers and parents feel helpless to help them. The best advice they give is to "ignore them." That works in some cases, but this is not the cure all for children who are bullied. Especially in an environment that allows this type of behavior to continue.

In the United States, 10 to 13 percent of school age children suffer some form of rejection. Children who are bullied and isolated may have poor grades, face drug addiction and drop out of school. These "studies" show that children who are bullied lack social skills in one way or another. They don't pick up on social cues like, foot tapping or rolling of the eyes. They are unaware of unspoken messages and this causes them to be rejected by their peers. These children may say things like, "Do you know that you are so BIG!" Not because they are rude, but because they don't know any better. These matters should be handled in the same way a parent would teach their children how to do math or practice for a spelling bee. They should be taught proper ways to process information and respond. Richard Lavoie, give tips for parents to try with their children. He's the author of, "It's So Much Work to be Your Friend, Helping the Child with Learning Disabilities Find Success," these tips work with children without disabilities as well.

1) Ask the child what happened and listen without judgment.

2) Ask the child to identify their mistake. (Often children only know that someone got upset, but don't understand their own role in the outcome.)

3) Help the child identify the cue they missed or mistake they made, by asking something like: "How would you feel if Emma was hogging the tire swing?" Instead of lecturing with the word "should," offer options the child "could" have taken in the moment, such as: "You

could have asked Emma to join you or told her you would give her the swing after your urn."

4) Create an imaginary but similar scenario where the child can make the right choice. For example, you could say, "If you were playing with a shovel in the sand box and Aiden wanted to use it, what would you do?"

5) Lastly, give the child "social homework" by asking him to practice this new skill, saying: "Now that you know the importance of sharing, I want to hear about something you share tomorrow."

Though these tips are helpful, it does not deal with tips on how to address the bully behind the bullying. Read more tomorrow.

For more info: If you or someone you know in the Huntsville, Alabama area needs help please visit, Family Services Center, 600 St. Claire Ave., Huntsville, AL. phone (256) 551-1610. To report child abuse, sexual abuse or neglect please contact Department of Human Resources (256) 535-4500 , Huntsville Police Department (256) 722-7100. Crisis Services of North Alabama.Source: LiveScience


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