This winter, Chicago’s golfers will appreciate the word below. Below will not refer to handicaps that are below par, but to wind chill temperatures that are below zero. Are there Chicago, winter, golf superstars playing golf in this weather?
Icicles on mustaches and beards
Chicago golfers who have this frozen water on the hairy parts of their faces are dedicated sportsmen because you know they have been playing more than one hole of golf in below freezing temperatures. Likely, sleet froze to their mustaches and beards. However, if these hardy golfers sloppily drank liquids, did not wipe the excess from their faces, and remained outside long enough, icicles could have formed.
Fingers and hands freeze to golf club shafts.
Human skin will more readily freeze to metal than to rubber or cloth. If Chicago golfers, who are outside playing, remove their gloves to retrieve coins from their pockets or remove clip ball markers from their gloves, it is possible that their bare hands will freeze to golf club shafts. Detaching their hands and fingers from these shafts is not as painful as removing tongues from golf club shafts.
Toes become numb.
Unless Chicago golfers are wearing heated shoes, toes and feet will become numb before other extremities. (This rule applies to properly-dressed golfers.) In below zero, wind chill temperatures, constant movement will lessen numbness in toes, but not eliminate numbness in toes. Rubber boots are warmer than golf shoes; in addition, golfers can wear more sock layers when wearing boots than they can when wearing golf shoes.
Muscles are stiff.
Human muscles perform better when warm than when they are cold. Cold temperatures contract muscles, reducing their elasticity. In cold temperatures, bones and joints are also less mobile.
The Chicago, winter, golf superstars are the men and women who have icicles in their beard, hair and moustaches. These hardy ones do not painfully freeze their fingers and hands to golf clubs. These tough individuals finish at least nine holes of a golf round without developing frostbitten toes. In my opinion, somewhere in Chicago there is at least one, Chicago, winter, golf superstar.