White House Declines Construction of Death Star Citing Cost as Issue

Amazingly, the White House has responded to a national non-problem with a workable non-solution, concerning a petition which was sent to the "We The People" petition website run by the President's staff.

The petition urged the following:

We petition the obama administration to-Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016.

By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense.

petition and the White House Response:

The President, who many critical Republicans believe fancies himself as "Emperor," is not yet ready to build a Death Star due, at least in part, to its exorbitant cost, among many other reasons.

Indeed, according to White House "Space and Science OMB Chief Paul Shawcross, the cost of such a project would exceed $850 Quadrillion dollars, an amount largely outside of the present White House budgetary concerns, at least for 2013. However, Shawcross did expand on his decline of such a project by indicating the following:

• The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
• The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
• Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

Upon seeing Director Shawcross' rather droll response, many Conservatives were stunned by the obvious evidence of an administration apparatchik who exhibited an actual sense of humor.

Shawcross went on, in his answer, to discuss matters as diverse as marsh mellows, the Kessel Run, the force and even light sabers, which most Conservatives know, were initially invented in order to counter galactic totalitarians who had confiscated the People's blasters at least a millenium ago.

However, for those who might be disappointed, concerning the loss of a possible Death star, take heart. You see, the President also stated that he would cut the deficit in half in 2010 and even later indicated that Obamacare would be an effort to slash medical expenditures massively while granting free coverage to everyone.

These among many other promises which also ultimately proved to be false, therefore, a possible Death Star may yet be completed in the future.

In fact, as far as this rather opaque administration goes, All The President's Men may have already partially constructed a Death Star which could be fully functional and aimed at the southern United States, even now, for all we know.

Full White House Response and petition:

Paul Shawcross is Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget