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When you say “I do”

What’s cliché in our society is the proposal and the phrase “I do.” What’s even more cliché is the wedding day… but after all of that, it’s the marriage that must be kept intact. Marriage is a game many couples play, each person diving in head-on or with much calculation takes a leap that this other person will remain true to them. No one thinks, or likes to think, what if “I” cheat?

When things go wrong, one blames the other and the vicious cycle continues. With the numerous psychologists and counsellors out there, still more than half of the marriages fail with the statistic only increasing. What is wrong with this picture is the emphasis during the pre-marriage phase. Either there is no emphasis on anything or just way too much emphasis on everything. Looking for perfection in things can become a huge crutch that has the potential to break up a union.

Five things to keep in mind before saying “I do” are as follow:

1. You’re marrying a partner, not just financial but in every way.

This person should be someone you share everything with, including most of your thoughts, dreams, and plans. Your partner has a say in everything and hopefully he/she is understanding.

2. Making big deal out of small things will lead to breaking up over bigger things.

Never make every single thing a big deal, because in doing so the steaks are now low for tad bit of a bigger problem.

3. Always encourage one another in the right direction.

Don’t encourage everything the other person does. Be honest. Your partner is a representation of you; it’s you in another body in a way. Make sure you both come to value similar things in life. But also be careful not to get nit-picky.

4. Boundaries are good as long as they don’t become your God.

Have boundaries in your relationship, but if something can be completely harmless to both of you, then be willing to leave the other person free to choose. Oh, and don’t get mad if they choose what you wished they wouldn’t.

5. Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter are not modern ways to cheat.

Remember that cheating is not just sexual- it is all the things you’d do before you get that far and sometimes you don’t even get that far- which is good, but not good enough. Do not have secret friendships that you know are wrong to have. Keep everyone at a distance and don’t lead others on.

Even though there is so much more to say, and this list is not limited to pre-marital dos and don’ts obviously, most breakups start somewhere on this list of five things. In keeping these five in check, a peaceful relationship with two happy individuals is not far from reach.