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When women love psychopaths


The disturbing news about the discovery of abducted 11-year-old Jaycee Dugard, held for 18 years by Phillip and Nancy Garrido has the nation in frenzy over what could have been done to prevent such incomprehensible cruelty or at the very least discover such behavior at its onset.

Many theories have been laid out at as to what makes a women follow, fall in love and in cases such as the Gorrido’s, marry a man displaying abnormal and often violent personality traits. For some the attraction lies in the uniqueness of loving someone that everyone else believes is disturbed. They relish in the feeling that they are the only ones that truly understand the deviant, believing that others have largely misunderstood him. Some are attracted to the radical beliefs or passion shown over ideas or themes, regardless of how out-there they may be.

Yet, an attraction to social deviants shouldn’t be seen as a weakness in women, or susceptibility found in wallflowers and relationship misfits. Many psychopaths or social deviants can be extremely charismatic and seductive with their intensity making them attractive to both men and women.

As pointed out in my book 1001 Questions To Ask Before You Get Married, individuals should be aware of red flags that signal abnormal behavior that could put a person in danger. The problem lies in an individual’s ability to believe that the red flags exist in their relationship. Even more difficult is convincing those in relationships with psychopaths that leaving the relationship for their own safety or the safety of others is more important than the fear of betraying or escaping their partner.