When seeking a mate, many people place a great deal of emphasis on what they desire from a potential partner. However, far too often mate seekers are not placing enough focus on what their ideal mate will need and want from a partner.
It is very important to know what you need and want in a mate. After all, if your goal is to seriously commit to someone, you indeed want to make sure that this person is ideal for what you need in your life. However, the problem with a lot of mate seekers is that they are not placing nearly enough detailed emphasis on what their desired mate may be seeking in a partner as well. And with so little focus on the desires of a potential mate, mate seekers are not attractive to the type of person they are looking for. This is one of the main reasons why so many single individuals are struggling to find the ideal person to settle with. Simply put: THE TYPE OF PERSON THEY ARE INTO- IS NOT INTO THEM!
People when seeking a potential mate you have to be realistic. You cannot seek traits in a mate that are not comparable to what you as a person have to offer. An example of this is: a woman who is in horrible financial debt due to poor spending habits would be crazy to think that she is going to land a man who is fiscally responsible, stable and productive. Chances are this type of man would not be interested in a woman who is financially immature.
When making a list of attributes you feel you need and desire in a mate, be sure to follow that list up with a list of realistic expectation your ideal mate will desire from you. When following this method, you will find that there are aspects about your life that you must change and/or build upon in order to attract the one you seek.
Happy Dating Everyone!
~The Relationship Coach