Ah, falling in love. "It's like jumping. It's like leaping. It's like walkin' on the ceiling. It's like floatin'. It's like flying through the air" Falling out of love? Well, I think I'd rather fall naked off a speedy scooter. Or off an ice laden roof in to a pit of slime. Or, if he's really cute, off a short bridge over less than troubled waters. (Hey, we're talking about a relationship here. Suicide is far from necessary.) Scraps and Slime clean up and heal faster than a broken heart.
The fact of the matter is, the US education curriculum has failed to provide our youth with the necessary information for dealing with this life crisis. When will "He's Just Not That into You" and "It's Called a Breakup 'Cause it's Broken" enter into our public schools required reading lists? Just think, jading our youth with romance gone wrong just might curb teenage pregnancy while also prepping them for real world relationships! Bonus! Instead, here we are as adults still trying to figure out relationships and why they falter.
When relationships get rocky, what do you do? Well, you could...
1. Try to add a little spice to the bedroom? Go for it! My advice: grab a notebook and pen and watch several episodes of Sex and the City. Write down ideas. Realize that the show just made your sex life seem comparable to your grandmother's afghan. (old...worn...fuzzy...frayed... dusty...flopped over on a chair?) Then realize that the show is a gross exaggeration. That you are great in the sack. And come up with something more realistic.
2. Go to Counseling? There are several sites out there to give you advice on choosing a counselor. I read them. Feel free to read on your own. But, the bottom line- if you both want to be there and you found a counselor that you can build a rapport with, your chances of relationship reinvention and survival are greater. BUT there are no guarantees.
3. Claim a date night? I'd love to give you a list of restaurants, but that is so cliche! Find something you both enjoy and a place where you can communicate. And I'm not suggesting conversation about the kids, your work, finances, or your problems. I'm talking about random, fun conversation. "Hey! Dude! Did you hear about the guy that decided to swim with the polar bears at the zoo? Duuude" "If you were a hotdog, would you eat yourself? [insert Harry Caray voice]" "What animal do you think I resemble? really, which one? Does this fedora make me look more like a camel?"
4. Call it quits? Yep, it happens.
Reinvention is the word. You are either going to reinvent your romance or reinvent yourself.
When relationships end, there is likely a level of pain. Rejection is painful. Lucky for you, you live in the wonderful city of Charleston where new hobbies, adventures, and friends are endless. East Shore Athletic club offers a wide array of classes as well as 24 hour gyms! Is it good to promote the idea of "working off" the stress of the break up? Well, you're going to like the results more than eating it away with a pint of Ben and Jerry's! Go downtown. Head on out to the beach. Rent a kayak. Go to a new bar. Participate in the "Tourist in your own City". Find a church. Take a flight lesson or cooking lesson or guitar lesson. The possibilities are endless!
Remember, you're awesome and you have just been given the opportunity to venture down a path you may have never seen while starring in to the eyes of someone else. Your new journey just began. Good Luck.