This question comes from Emily, of Cleveland, Ohio:
“My boyfriend wants us to watch pornography together, but I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that. What should I do?”
Well, Emily, this is something you need to be totally honest with your boyfriend about. If watching adult films makes you uncomfortable, it's important that you are up front with him about it. If you don’t tell him how you feel and just go along with him, it could start you down the path of doing other things that you’re not comfortable with, as well.
A good relationship is built on mutual trust, honesty, and respect. If your boyfriend really loves and respects you, he will not pressure you to do something that you are not comfortable with. A good way to start the conversation might be saying something like this, “Honey, I love you but I’m just not comfortable watching these types of videos.”
This might also open up a conversation about other ways you can explore your sexual relationship. It is important to establish clear boundaries so that you can develop trust. Now, it may be hard to see this, Emily, but if he doesn’t respect your boundaries about this, there are likely going to be other things in the future he won’t respect as well, so if you can’t see eye to eye, it may be time to go your separate ways. Good luck, Emily!