No marriage is perfect; they all go through ups and downs. You may be extremely irritated with your spouse for one reason or another. So what do you do when negative thoughts creep into your mind about your spouse? Do you embrace them and treat your spouse poorly, or do you try to overcome them and look for the good?
Doing the latter is not easy, but it is important for your marriage. Once our thoughts turn negative, it’s easy to stay on that path and see nothing but bad in our spouses. But there has to be some good, or the two of you never would have married in the first place.
Stop for a moment and look for one good thing in your spouse. Come on, there’s got to be something. Is he a good provider for your family? Is she a good nurturer to your children? Now write that one thing down in a little notebook so you can remind yourself of it the next time you are tempted to see nothing but bad in your spouse.
But don’t stop there. Do that very same thing every day – finding one good thing in your spouse and writing it down – without repeating what you wrote any other day. As you continually look for the good in your spouse, you’ll find it. And you’ll also find that your attitude will change toward your spouse.
It may take some effort and discipline to find one good thing in your spouse each day, but think of it as treasure hunting. You’re looking for that hidden nugget of gold. Don’t stop until you find it each day.
* If you have trouble finding even one good thing in your spouse, you might want to seek help from a professional counselor.
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