Getting a divorce can be more difficult than ending a regular relationship. Multiple factors go in to leaving a marriage such as kids, financial stability, as well as all the tedious paperwork involved with a divorce. Every couple; married or not, will have their fights. But it is not normal to fight constantly every day. If the two of you are constantly at each other’s throats, it’s time to start asking yourself the following questions.
Are you still in love? One of the keys to a healthy marriage is love. If you can’t wait for them to go to work or not be around you, you may not be in love with them anymore. It’s normal to hate them at times but do you feel impatient when they’re talking? Or maybe feel irritated with nearly everything they do? These are signs that you are either falling out of love with them or already have.
Can you honestly say that you would be happy like this for the rest of your life? Can you spend every day of the next 50 years arguing with your significant other? If there is no trust, could you spend every day for the rest of your life worrying about what they’re doing, where they’re going and who they’re talking to?
Though the word divorce is scary, think of how you would feel when it is finalized. Would you be overwhelmed with happiness or would you be upset that things couldn’t work out?
Are you only staying with them because it is convenient financially? It is hard when you fall out of love with someone when they are the only one supporting the two of you. If this is the case you will need to find some source of income if you really want to leave.
Are both of your wants and needs being met? Examine your sexual life and see if both of you have been satisfied lately. Many times when a relationship is dying out, so will the sex. Are the two of you supporting one another with your goals and accomplishments?
It is true that people change. You are not the same person you were a year ago and neither is your significant other. Life changes people whether it’s for the good or bad. During a relationship both sides typically learn to adapt to their ‘new’ spouse. If you just want the same person you fell in love with, they are still in there. They have just molded around those qualities and became someone new. You can’t expect someone to stay the same for the rest of their life.
It all boils down to if you are happy with your marriage. Are the problems in your marriage fixable? Do both of you want to put in the effort it takes to make the marriage work? If you or both of you have been unhappy for quite some time and even have tried to work things out but failed, chances are it is time to divorce.
If your spouse makes you push aside goals you set for yourself, isolates you from friends and family, has a limit on what you can do for entertainment, or tries to change your whole belief system then it’s time to leave. If you are in a marriage that requires you to nag constantly to get what you need, make excuses for their behavior, feel as if you have to walk on eggshells around them, let go of who you are as an individual, and question yourself constantly about why you are still there, then it is time to file for a divorce.
A person only has so many trips around the sun. Do you want to spend the rest of your days settling? When it comes to love you should never settle. Maybe you’re thinking you may never find anyone else to accept you for the real you. The love you and your spouse had may have been special, but it may not have been ‘the’ love for you. Don’t confuse love with ‘comfortability’ and ‘familiarity’.
In the beginning you may have thought they were the one for you but if you are feeling like this now, then obviously you two weren’t meant to be. Try to think of the last time you were truly happy with your spouse. Remember sometimes you can work and work at a relationship but in the end it’ll fail anyway. Taking the first step towards a divorce is difficult but as long as you have friends and family who support you, you will get through this.