When fathers are victims of female infidelity

Fathers who are victims of female infidelity can be adversely
affected in a number of ways, including the ones discussed here.
Photo:  istockphoto.com / Renata Osinka

Every father should give serious thought to how he and his children could be affected if the mother of his children has an affair.

Fathers who become victims of female infidelity can be adversely affected in many ways.

3 Ways Fathers Can Be Affected by Female Infidelity

Let’s start with three of the many ways a father can be affected If the mother of his children has an affair. He could be affected psychologically, physically, and financially, too.

Psychologically 

• The shock of discovering that the children’s mother is cheating on him could affect his work performance to the point that it causes him to lose his job.  

• The mental stress of worrying about who the children’s mother is sleeping with, how long it’s been going on, who else knows, and whether she’s going to leave him for the other man, can make him susceptible to drug or alcohol abuse.
   

 Physically  

• If his children’s mother has had unprotected sex with her lover, and he has been were sexually active with her during that time, his health could be at risk.
   
•  He may have unknowingly been exposed to sexually transmitted diseases which could leave him sterile, or render him incapable of fathering more kids.    

• He may also have been exposed to HIV/AIDS.

Financially

• If he’s married to the mother of his children, and she divorces him as a result of her affair, he’ll find himself saddled with child support, and possibly alimony too.    

• If her affair results in a pregnancy, he may unknowingly end up raising, or paying child support for a child that’s not his own. ( One study found that 1 man in 25 is not the biological father of a child he believes to be his.)

These are just a few of the many ways a father can be affected if he becomes a victim of female infidelity. But a father who has been betrayed by the mother of his children can suffer other indignities, as well.

Other Indignities Faced by Fathers Who Are Victims of Infidelity

Many a father has had his life destroyed, either directly or indirectly as a result of the mother of his children having an affair. Below are some of the other problems and indignities an unfortunate father may face.     

• If he’s not married to the children’s mother, she may abruptly end her relationship with him; if they’re married, she may hit him with a surprise divorce.      

• If her infidelity leads to divorce, he will rarely be the custodial parent due to maternal bias in the court system.       

• He may be required to move out of the marital home and find another place to live.       

• He may lose contact with his children if their mother relocates, remarries, refuses to share custody, or honor his visitation rights.
   
• The stress ot the situation may lead to drug or alcohol abuse, which could cause him to be labeled as an unfit father and affect his custodial or visitation rights.      

• If he has aggressive tendencies, he may resort to violence, and assault the children’s mother or her lover, and end up in jail.       

• If the mother of his children remarries, he has to deal with another man raising his children.         

• If the children’s mother walks out on him and leaves the children behind, he may end up raising them alone.         

• He may be so distraught of the betrayal of the children’s mother, that he’s unable to give his children the care they need.
   
• Or he may wind up entering into a hasty re-marriage just to provide a mother for his kids.   

• If the children’s mother is vindictive, he may find himself falsely accused of molestation or child abuse.

Female Infidelity Takes a Personal Toll on Fathers

Infidelity can also take a personal toll on the betrayed father in the following ways:    

• He may lose the respect of some of his male friends when they find out his children’s mother cheated on him.  

• The fact that he’s been betrayed by the children’s mother could totally destroy the father’s self-esteem.
   
• The trauma of infidelity could drive the betrayed father to commit suicide.

A Father Cannot Afford To Be The Last To Know

No father would want to find himself in one of the situations described above.

Obviously, if the mother of his children is cheating on him, a father cannot afford to be the last to know.

Yet as widespread as female infidelity has become, many men have no idea their wives or girlfriends are having an affair.

How a Father Can Safeguard His Relationship with His Children

The best precaution a father can take to safeguard his relationship with his children, and preserve his relationship with their mother, is to educate himself about female infidelity, and familiarize himself with the early warning signs.

Since some form of infidelity affects 80% of all marriages and committed relationships today, a father who values his relationship with his children, and wants to remain a part of their lives, needs to be able to spot trouble right away, before it’s too late.

If he's unfamiliar with the subtle signs of infidelity (as most men are), by the time he finds out the mother of his children is cheating, the affair may have already reached the point of no return.

The future of a father’s relationship with his children and their mother may well depend on his ability to spot the signs of infidelity in time.

To request a free copy of the special report Is She Cheating? - 21 Ways You Can Tell, which covers the 21 major categories of infidelity signs, e-mail InfidelityInfo@gmail.com   with Is She Cheating?- Xm in the subject line.   

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*** © copyright 2010 Ruth Houston All Rights Reserved.

Ruth Houston is a New York-based infidelity expert who is frequently called on by the media to comment on high profile infidelity and popular infidelity issues in the news. She is the founder of www.InfidelityAdvice.com , the author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, and publishes the Infidelity News and Views blog. To interview infidelity expert Ruth Houston, or have her speak at your next event, call 718 592-6029 or e-mail InfidelityExpert@gmail.com  

For more information about female infidelity, cheating wives or girlfriends, or how to catch a cheating mate, see:

Study on Mothers Who Cheat

14 Kinds of Women Most Likely to Cheat on Their Mate

Is She Cheating? Most Husbands and Boyfriends Find Out Too Late

 How Men Are Affected by Female Infidelity

Infidelity Traps - 12 Ways People Unintentionally Get Drawn into Cheating on Their Mates

Top 10 Reasons Why Men and Woman Cheat

Is She Cheating? – 21 Ways You Can Tell (free tip sheet)

What Should I Do If He or She is Cheating on Me?

When Should You Hire a Private Investigator to Check Out a Cheating Mate?

What NOT to Do If He’s (She’s) Cheating on You

How Infidelity Leads to Acts of Violence

Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs - soft cover book (Signs apply to both cheating women and cheating men)

Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs (e-book version contains bonus section for men entitled Is SHE Cheating?

Why Most Cheaters Don’t Get Caught

 Free Infidelity Tip sheets and Special Reports

Infidelity Resources to Help You Catch a Cheating Mate
 
The Best Investment You Can Make in Your Relationship for 2010