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When does a husband listen to his wife?

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"Husbands, continue loving your wives.." Ephesians 5:25 "You husbands, keep on loving your wives and do not be bitterly angry with them" Colossians 3:19 "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in relation to his wife.." 1 Corinthians 7:14

How often in the quagmire of life stressors husbands fail to listen to their wives? Distracted by outside forces beyond a husband's control, perhaps overwhelmed even having the skills to cope, a husband may become narrowed on the scope of life. Plans frustrated, delayed in reaching goals, distracted from the things to do list, routines disrupted, money problems, deprived of sex - love - affection, one or many of these may bring about other motives, including anger or violence.

A wife, experiencing her own issues in life, may be in need of her husband's compassion, empathy, mere listening or advice. If the wife becomes overwhelmed she may even want his sympathy. She may expect him to show more feelings (or share her feelings exactly the way she does) than the situation requires to address the solutions. Under the circumstances, one or both may be distressed, narrowed in mind, losing contact with God and higher level thinking. Both of their communication may fail.

Instead of providing support, the husband may become hostile, demeaning or judgmental. She may become disappointed or disillusioned. She may quit, exit and seek solutions elsewhere. The husband may feel abandoned, dejected, and revert the feelings inwards, become saddened, depressed or miserable. Feeling suspicious, he may begin to believe that she would be having an affair; or that she was using her problems as a ploy to conceal her affairs. Because may be he expected her, not him, to be the affectionate figure, the leader in the field of feelings and listening.

After meditation, relaxation, connecting with God, keeping an open mind, becoming aware of one's other motives, reducing seeking goals, recognizing her wanting sympathy and needing empathy, being ready to maintain positive feelings, he may improve in listening to her problems- as well as reducing the effect of his own problems.


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