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When do I tell a new boyfriend I had a masectomy

Dear Debbie,

I am meeting a new gentleman and if the relationship looks promising, how and when do you think that it would be appropriate to bring up the subject that I had a mastectomy? I tend to be a very honest person and don't lead anyone astray but I also know that something as persona as that is "on a need to know basis" and should be done in a correct and timely manner. What are your feelings and advice? Signed...Wondering

Dear Wondering,

It is normal and natural to want to share an abundance of personal information in the beginning of a relationship with the hope that the more we share, the closer we will feel and the more significant the relationship will become. There is so much that is "new" we easily get carried away into a fantasy that "he is the one, I finally found him." Although it is difficult, because it is so exciting, ask yourself how much confidential information do you want to share with a stranger?
It should take at least four significant dates before you can reasonably conclude that this new relationship might be leading to a sexual encounter. You will know when the best time is for such an important disclosure and that is when it will be prudent to share your experience with him. Once it is no longer a scenario running through your mind but rather out in the open for you both to absorb and discuss, one or both of you may find you react differently than you thought you might.
This is not an easy situation and you will need to follow your instincts as the relationship progresses.

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