Bullying is a serious problem in schools, so much so that February 9 is designated as National Stop Bullying Day. Schools include anti-bullying messages in the classrooms, and organizations are set up to train parents and students in techniques for turning a bullying situation around.
According to the Maricopa County, Arizona, School Superintendent's office (personal conversation with the Home School Specialist in 2011), bullying in the public school was the number one reason for parents to begin homeschooling. With about 100 students a month filing an affidavit to homeschool in the county, the number who pull kids from school for this reason could be significant.
So, is homeschooling a good method for dealing with trouble makers, or is it just avoiding the normal conflicts of childhood?
One article from Psychology Today promoted schooling at home as a healthy alternative, especially when the school personnel didn't seem responsive to the issue. Some of the commenters, however, thought that removing the children from the situation didn't teach them real-life skills that they would need for dealing with the rest of life. One counterpoint was offered: In the adult world, the same harrassing behaviors (such as hitting, punching, stalking or destroying property) can be handled with legal authorities, and that is not always the case with children's matters.
A bullied child can be deeply affected by the words and actions of others, which may be reflected in poor self-esteem, fear of going to school, low grades, or acting out behaviors at home. To continue to keep the youngster in the situation will only deepen his anxiety and subject him to further abuse from his schoolmates. To remove him and offer a safe place to learn may make all the difference in the world, even if the homeschooling stint is only for a short term.
When teaching your own children, as a parent you are able to immediately address any misbehavior issues and provide guidance for the proper alternatives. You also have opportunity to model appropriate responses to others who act abusively, thus giving the students the tools they need for future use.
In conversation with numerous parents whose children were bullied, this examiner found that the nurturing relationships of homeschooling provided a great deal of healing from the effects of bullying, and the children began to thrive. They learned how to feel successful and worthy, and they developed skills for navigating difficult relationships with others. Some continued the homeschool journey through high school, while others eventually returned to public school.
Every parent may not have the option to homeschool his or her children, and the choice to remain in school with the bullies may not be easy. If homeschooling is a viable possibility, the pulling of a child out of a bad situation may be more a statement of the parent's love and protection than an indicator of over-protection and isolation.
Most families choose to continue outside involvements with sports, music, church activities or homeschool support group outings. The children are still being in relationship with others, and sometimes there are behavioral issues among them. The difference is that the parents are with the kids and can influence them as needed in the interactions, and make the situation a learning experience.
If you are thinking of homeschooling because of bullying in the school, there are many resources in the Phoenix area to equip you for the task. Here are just a few:
- Getting Started workshops and encouragement
- Great places for buying curriculum
- Homeschool support groups and classes
- Homeschool conventions with lots of practical helps and materials
Children are a priceless resource. Homeschooling becomes a opportunity to invest in their hearts and souls and characters. Don't let bullying rob them of some of the best years of their lives.
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(c) 2011 Holly Craw All rights reserved. You may post an excerpt with proper attribution and a link back to this page
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