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When arrogance is the culprit in marital dysfunction

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Time and time again the stress and dysfunction in a marriage can be what sucks the romance right out of a marriage. When a spouse manages to place themselves in a seemingly prestigious position, real or imagery, it goes to their head. The world magically begins to revolve around them. They're the kind of person you wonder how they got their ego in the door. You wonder who that person is; it’s your spouse.

This person can be a new counselor, young doctor, fireman or the new rookie cop on the force. How do you let this new status create such a conceded arrogance about you? And why in the world do allow this to rob you of an otherwise amazing marriage. Pride can described as, “A high or inordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.”

Take a quick self-assessment, if you’re even willing to read this, and see what you find. Arrogance is defined as, “Offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride.” Does that sound like you or your spouse? It is even harder to believe that this can be an issue in a marriage. Again, if you’re even willing to humble yourself long enough to read this, and it describes you, how did you let this happen?

With all the physical and emotion abuse going on in the world, as well as infidelity, how does one allow this to consume their marriage? Positions of power are usually about helping others. To rule is to serve. But it is easy to forget this when you hold a position of power and responsibility. Power can corrupt, and pride can get the better of you. Over time, you might think that you are entitled to certain privileges because you think things would collapse without you.

Instead of putting the interests of others first, you may end up putting your own interests first. Sure, your function on the job maybe very vital, but you cannot let it cloud or dilute your role as a spouse. Besides, most positions of power are supposed to be approached with humbleness and meekness. Small hint: meekness is authority under control. So how does one become so self-centered. How does one go from being grateful that you chose them to “where is your gratitude for me having chosen to allow you to be with me?” What the heck ever. Are there really spouse like this?

Maybe they can’t see that their marriage is falling apart because their nose is so high. On a serious note, if this is you, for your marriages sake, deflate. The person that loves you most dearly may be thinking about leaving you. The scary thing is some of you will be okay with that, thinking someone else would be glad to fill their shoes. One of the worst things about pride is that it can alienate people. Making boastful claims, or shouting about your success, connections and power, will not draw people to you. Also, it will not do your marriage any good if you hog all the credit for yourself and your perceived successful marriage. Such actions will only create resentment and turn people against you.

Plus, don't you think being egotistical is tiring. We all know that it is a character defect, and most people do not even buy into it any more. We all mostly ignore you and tell jokes about you later. Some people even complain to others behind your back. And if you are the husband, know that so many pity you and feel sorry for your wife. When your singing from the roof top about how great you are and about how much you have, know that your family may not be feeling the love. What really sucks is that you may be an embarrassment to your spouse and don't even know it.

It really doesn't matter what you do or who you are when the ones close to you despise you. It really doesn't take much to save your marriage in this case. Just go back to putting family first and remember that your job is just a job. Like any other, there is someone waiting to take your place. The funny thing is, the same holds true for your family. You are your families first line of defense. You cannot afford to be weakest link. Beside, it's your kids that need the hero and it should be you. Get your head out of the clouds before it's too late.

More marriage articles: http://www.examiner.com/marriage-in-wichita-falls/jack-lopez

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