Recently, you spoke with a thirty-seven year old woman and a fifty one year old woman in different settings who revealed to you that their best friend stole their man. The details were so similar that all you needed to do was switch the names and you would have concluded that it was the same story.
How does a trusting relationship of many years become one of deceit and betrayal? Both women reported they knew their best friend before marrying. They discussed everything about their relationship with their best friend. As their marriages began to fall apart, they shared their marital problems and their suspicions that their spouses were having an affair. Neither imagined the best friend was the other woman. However, looking back both admitted most of the advice given by the best friends did not support trying to save the marriage. Of course, they should have added so that he can become all mines.
In both of these situations, the best friends lacked honesty and had no moral scruples in their selfish desire to have something that did not belong to them. They hid their true motives behind a curtain of deceitfulness and patiently waited to pounce on and stab their unsuspecting friends in the back. This was a true instance of smiling faces tell lies. It was noted by the younger of the two ladies when she realized her best friend actually wanted to be with her husband, she felt intense physical pain and mental anguish. The betrayal by her best friend was just as disturbing as her spouse’s infidelity. For a brief period, she was mourning the loss of two significant people in her life. She went into a deep depression. Her parents and a brother had to help her realize she was still a beautiful, loving, desirable and capable young woman.
Although the two ladies were different ages, their decision to pick up the pieces and continue on and not look back was a strong common denominator. They agreed sometimes very close relationships have a blind spot. That lesson was hard to stomach. The older woman is involved in another relationship. Both remain unmarried. The younger woman stated she was busy with a new career that she truly enjoyed. Neither of the ladies ruled out finding a new best friend and both stated emphatically that a dog or cat would be the first choice.