Jon Gosselin and Michael Lohan wanna get classy with you!
Jon Gosselin has been all over TV lately trying to get his family off TV. The father of 8 is not happy about the effect that the filming of the TLC show "Jon and Kate + 8" is having on his kids, and he's vowed to get production on the show stopped with the help of his Great White Shark of a lawyer. But Jon's not through with TV just yet: the Comedy Examiner tells us all we know about his future show-to-be, "Divorced Dad's Club". Read on, gentle Examiner readers...
(WARNING: WHAT FOLLOWS IS A CAREFUL MIX OF OPINION AND NEWS, SO DON'T BE THROWN OFF BY THE COMEDY EXAMINER'S SNARK-- IT'S INTENTIONAL. THAT IS ALL...)
Did you watch Jon Gosselin on "Larry King Live"? The famous father of 8 and lover of loose women was amped up on that show Thursday night, vowing all over himself that he'd not let production on his old JK8 show on TLC go on. His lawyer-- who appeared to be the walking definition of the reason that there are so many lawyer jokes in the world-- has his back, and they were both very adamant about how serious they were to get the show finished, for good.
But Jon's got this other plan, something he cooked up with Michael Lohan, the famously dirt-baggy father of class act Lindsay Lohan. Generally, when one "cooks something up" with Michael Lohan, it ends up getting smoked out of a lightbulb. But in this case, it's a TV show called "The Divorced Dad's Club". What do we know about this show? Who's gonna be in it? How likely is it that it'll ever see the light of, err, day? I can answer a few of these questions.
To begin, Jon Gosselin and Michael Lohan have been talking this idea up for awhile. When Radar Online asked Lohan about what the deal with the show was, he had this to say:
There’s bad blood there. If your show was making the network $130 something million and they paid you the pittance they paid you and restricted you from doing so many different things, how would you feel?
Lohan's no stranger to making desperate moves for money (if you Google his name, I challenge you to find me more than (maybe) one article that's complimentary towards the guy; on the contrary, even people that don't normally say bad things about other people have some pretty terrible sh-t to say about Michael Lohan. The guy's been selling off "interviews" about his daughter for the past 3 years or so. That is to say, whenever some rag like, say, US Weekly needs a quote about something Lindsay's done (like, I dunno, throwing things around in hotel corridors), they call up her dad, pay him about $1,000, and get him to talk about it. Generally, he'll include in his "interview" his desire for the media to leave his daughter alone...while he's being paid to talk to the media about her. So, the first thing we know about "Divorced Dad's Club"? Jon's business partner is a d-uche.
Secondly, we know that Jon wants current girlfriend and cocaine afficianado Hailey Glassman to appear on the show. The recent reports surrounding the Gosselin family say that Jon wants Hailey to be a regular on the show, and-- get this-- that he wants his kids to be involved in some extent, as well. Nevermind the fact that this flies in the face of everything that Jon's been saying lately; if you think those claims about TLC ruining his childrens' lives have anything to do with Jon's actual concern for his kids, this writer believes that he might have some land you'd be interested in, as well as a large, lovely bridge. Thus far, Hailey Glassman has kept her distance from the kids. But would "Divorced Dad's Club" bring the two parties together? And how the hell is Kate Gosselin gonna feel about that?
Third, one thing that we can't figure out is where the show is supposed to go. This writer would like to make the following prediction: VH1. Think about it: VH1 is the network for reality shows starring people that have hit rock bottom. You've got "Rock of Love Bus", "I love Money", and twisted crap like "Meghan Wants a Millionaire" (or is it "Megan"? Do you care? I bet someone will). The idea of a pathetic reality show starring two characters like Jon Gosselin and Michael Lohan sounds like it would be irresistible to that network. Michael Lohan, on the other hand, seems to have some other ideas about where the show would end up. And, yeah, they're about as likely as you'd expect coming from Michael Lohan. He says:
We’re just waiting now to find out if it can all work out,” Lohan said. “If TLC picks up the show, there’s no problem with Jon’s contract, so we’ll see.
So, Michael Lohan suspects that TLC-- the network that Jon is currently taking to court and creating Rhode Island-sized headaches for-- would like to do business with this greasy pair. Call the Comedy Examiner crazy, but that sounds absurd. After the dust settles on this thing, TLC will be lucky to have a show starring any of the Gosselins on the air, but if they do, the chances that it'll star Jon Gosselin are slim to none.
Finally, we know that the show is-- as previously mentioned-- another reality show, but what's it about? As far as this writer can tell, it's just a roaming camera reality series following the lives of several divorced dads. One imagines that it'll follow them as they get back into the dating scene, deal with their Ex's, and hang out with their kids. I'd also like to predict that the show may have them forced into weekly meetings where their personalities can all bounce off one another, maybe a poker game or something. Or perhaps a visit to a strip club: that sounds like it'd fit the classiness level the show's aspiring to. Hey, Michael Lohan, what can you tell us about other cast members?
I know they’re reaching out to Dennis Rodman. I know Jose Canseco has already said yes, he wants to be part of the show that bad. There are even some divorced celebrities who are not dads who want to do the show.
That sound you're hearing is me weeping.
Look, I don't begrudge anyone the chance to make money. But people that are so readily willing to exploit themselves, their families, and the families they used to be a part of? They're open targets for the snark of the Comedy Examiner, if you ask this writer. You can count on the Comedy Examiner's Office covering this situation as it develops, and if you have any info on this show that you'd like to share for future episodes, by all means drop the Office an email.
Here's some other recent articles from the Comedy Examiner's Office that you might enjoy. Take a look:
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"The Jay Leno Show" drops off by 39% in Dallas"-- in which Leno's ratings plummet in the Dallas area.
"What are other talkshow hosts saying about Letterman?"-- find out by clicking the link!
"Comedy Review: ZOMBIELAND is one of the best comedies of the year!"-- in which the Comedy Examiner reviews this "Zombedy".
"Are "The Jay Leno Show" and "Parks and Rec" getting canceled?"-- check out their ratings here!
"Brutal Legend"-- a video game for those that love comedy, Jack Black, and Metal"-- in which the Comedy Examiner looks at the upcoming video game that's funny AND fun to play.
(Photo: RadarOnline)
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