Second marriages are very common in today's society, they often involve children blending into one family. Whether you're becoming a parent for the first time or you're simply introducing his children to yours, you'll need to know a few things to help it go smoothly.
Who Will Be Responsible to Discipline The Children
Children are going to balk at the new parent disciplining them. Knowing who is going to be the disciplinarian before the wedding vows will save a lot of heartache and fighting after the wedding vows.
What If The Children Don't Like The New Parent
All children fantasize that mom and dad will get back together and things will be normal again. Because this is a fantasy the new parent will often be thwarted and challenged. Set your feelings aside and consider the child's point of view. Their lives have changed. It's not really you they don't like, it's the situation that tore mom and dad apart that they're upset about. Give them time.
What If The Children Don't Like Each Other
Sibling rivalry is alive and well in any family. Whether it's subtle or obvious the best stand is for parents to try to allow the children to work things out on their own. Counsel as needed but never take sides. Try to get the children to team up together on something.
How Can You Bond With Step Children
Patience here. Bonding will take time. Since you're not the biological parent, and they don't want you to be the biological parent you must tread softly. Give them lots of love, praise them, encourage them, give them the benefit of the doubt and let them see you stand up for them time and again. In time you'll see a return on your investment.
Expecting your new family to get along smoothly and become The Brady Bunch overnight isn't going to happen. Merging two families is a challenge no matter which way you look at it. Be prepared for the worst and you'll be delightfully surprised by the best. Following these tips should help you get through the roughest parts of it and somehow form a family.
If you're living in the Spokane area and want help for your blended family, you can refer to these articles for some local counseling centers and more information on blended families:
Spokane Families can live happily ever after
Spokane Families can help kids in blended families deal with a divorce or remarriage
Children's first parenting seminars required in The State of Washington
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If you're part of an organization in Spokane, Washington that helps blended families, or you're part of a blended family and would like to share something with Spokane Blended Families examiner please contact the author at Countrymom_inland@yahoo.com and share your story. We are happy to edit out any personal details and share your story with our readers.
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