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What would Bob Dylan tweet?

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Well, it seems that early in the day Thursday somebody put up a fake Bob Dylan twitter account. A whole bunch of people got excited and started following it. There were two less-than-impressive tweets from fake Bob.

"My first tweet. Hi! Bob"
"Joining Twitter today. First time."

Sounds more like a tentative teenager than the great poet/songwriter, which should have tipped people off. Another thing that should have tipped off anybody with half a brain was that no one in the news media picked up the story. If Bob was really ready to tweet, don't you think his people would announce it to the world, and you'd hear about it, like, everywhere?

But it got me thinking... always trouble when that happens... I was thinking, "What would Bob's tweets be like if he really tweeted?"

Here's what I came up with -

"The highway is lonely and endless, my friend. But it's better than watching soaps on TV. Believe me, I tried that too."

"Prop's to Pope Francis for Person of the Year. I hear he used to be a bouncer. Could knock you straight to heaven."

"Everybody's talkin' about The Voice. They'd drop me in the first round. Johnny Cash too. Not enough high notes."

"People say I don't smile much onstage. They're wrong. They don't watch close enough. Last night I musta smiled 18 times. Or 24."

"Plagiarizer my ass. I been stolen from by everybody. Remember Steeler's Wheel? I don't plagiarize, I elevate."

"Somebody tweeted askin' when the next record was coming out. Well, one thing I know for sure, it'll come out when it's ready."


I invite anyone who's interested to come up with their own "What would Bob tweet?" tweets. You can post them here in the comments section. Remember, only 140 characters! We'll be counting...


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