It seems unconscionable. Insane. Absurd.
But there are several cases where Los Angeles Superior Court judicial officers do not order drug intervention timely or even order that a child may not see a therapist. Danny is the boy Commissioner Friedenthal ordered to live with his abusive father, knowing the child would opt to live on the streets. (See this story.) Danny asked to enter a drug treatment program in July of 2007. His father who had sole legal custody would not sign permission.
Commissioner Friedenthal did not make a temporary order to force the father to sign permission. Instead Ken Sherman was appointed to represent Danny. The parents were ordered to pay Mr. Sherman $250 per hour. Over the course of six weeks before the noticed hearing, Mr. Sherman never asked the court to write a temporary order to mandate the father to allow drug treatment. Mr. Sherman was told numerous times by the mother that the substance abuse was snowballing.
Danny eventually fell into the jurisdiction of the San Diego juvenile court. That court placed Danny with the mother 100% of the time. It has not been a straight or easy path, but Danny is now well on his way to recovery. Narcotics anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous were instrumental in the process. Unfortunately, the mother had no history of substance abuse and was not familiar with those programs when Danny's addictions first started.
There is no professional who leads the 12-step meetings and there is no permission slip required to join. The participants have been where the addict who still suffers has been. There are meetings at almost any time of day or night. Click here to find a schedule. There is no cost. A basket is passed around, but there is no obligation to donate and donations of a dollar or two are common.
Danny had trouble finding meetings with other teenagers, but if your child has this problem, it is worth driving 30 or 40 minutes to find the groups that cater to youth. Many youth say it is easier to get drugs than alcohol, so NA is more appropriate for these children, but the principals are the same in both groups.
It is helpful for the parents to attend a separate meeting. Most meetings are open to non-addicts, and Al-Anon and CoDA (Codependents Anonymous) address the issues of living with an addict. Since the programs are not monitored, your words cannot be twisted to use against you in court.
Many of the participants are court ordered to be there, but they are usually respectful and appreciate the program. No surveillance by law enforcement is allowed. Your child can have freedom to speak.
If your child is denied access to professional counseling by the court, AA or NA is a great alternative.
There is a prayer that is said at most meetings. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference."
May you find serenity, courage and wisdom.
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