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What to do about your mother-in-law

Q: I am getting married and my future mother-in-law feels the need to come and visit our place (3 hours from hers) once every month for a weekend. This wouldn't bother me so much if we actually did things, like go out or something like that, but the only thing that we do when she visits is watch TV. Also when she visits she doesn't come by herself but she brings her dog, my future brother-in-law and his girlfriend, I have a two bedroom apartment and things get pretty tight. My fiancé doesn't see this as a problem, but it really bothers me that I have to waste an entire weekend watching TV with his family. What should I do?

A: When it comes to in-laws inviting themselves to stay it is usually best to deal with your significant other. Since it is your fiancé's mother it should also be his responsibility. Explain to him that although you love him (and hopefully his family too) a two bedroom apartment just won't accommodate five adults and a dog comfortably especially not on a regular basis. While he may not see the problem on his own letting him know how you are feeling should bring him around to your point of view. Presumably your fiancé can appreciate your side of things and she can watch TV at home.

If he fails to jump in or she still insists on visiting monthly, make plans. Go to the Farmer's market Saturday morning. Buy advanced tickets to a concert or play (if you need ideas for events to attend try thedailypage.com). Try to make leaving home and being busy what you do every weekend. This will gently force your soon to be mother-in-law to either join you in the real world or pass on the visits. 

Comments

  • Deb - Parenting Tween Examiner 4 years ago

    The title makes me laugh every time.

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