Searching for a present for Grandmother on Mother’s Day May 9?
Popular writers including Anne Roiphe, Judith Guest, and Judith Viorst share their grandmotherhood views in “Eye of My Heart: 27 Writers Reveal the Hidden Pleasures and Perils of Being a Grandmother” (Harper).
The book's editor, DC essayist and author Barbara Graham, says she got the idea for “Eye of My Heart” when her grandchild Isabelle Eva was born.
Graham “looked to the one place I always turn for wisdom—books—I couldn’t find anything that addressed my alternately joyful, perplexing, painful—sometimes comical but always profound—new status.”
Here's a snapshot of that "status" from some of the anthology's writers:
- Anne Roiphe, in "Grandmothers Should Be Seen and Not Heard", learns -- the hard way -- to keep her mouth shut. One of her best-known books, "Up the Sandbox", was published 40 years ago. Her "Fruitful" was a finalist for the National Book Award.
- Judith Guest, in "The Road to Imperfection", confesses her failed attempt to emulate her saintly grandmother. Quite a departure from her candid look inside a troubled family, "Ordinary People".
- Judith Viorst, in "The Rivals", the DC writer exposes the high-stakes competition for Most Fabulous Grandchild. Her books include "Necessary Losses" and "Suddenly Sixty".
- Letty Cottin Pogrebin, in "Making Memories", wants to make a lasting impression on her grandchildren. A co-founder of "Ms." Magazine, Pogrebin has been writing about family issues for almost half a century.
- Ellen Gilchrist, in “On Becoming an Ancestor”, reveals how grandparenthood has eased her fear of death.
- Beverly Donofrio, In "Ten Straight Days", makes amends for her shortcomings as a teenage mother.
- Bharati Mukherjee, in "Gained in Translation", transcends her strict Hindu upbringing to embrace her adopted Chinese granddaughters.
A few excerpts:
- "Annika at three knows what she likes and doesn't like, and she doesn't like me," Molly Giles begins "Your Sixty-Year-Old: Friend or Foe?"
- Roxanna Robinson compares being a grandmother to "being told you no longer have to eat vegetables, only dessert -- and really only the icing."
- Lynne Sharon Schwartz compares it to "teen love: the same giddy absorption, the same loss of all sense of proportion, the same transcendent idiocy..."
- Kate Lehrer, in "The Age Thing", compares it to Shirley MacLaine's screaming "'Why should I be happy about being a grandmother?' in "Terms of Endearment".
- In "Facebook Grandma", Rona Maynard's 11-year-old grandson chastizes her for forgetting to answer his Facebook..."looking for the message that only his grandma could send."
What accounts for this very strong bond between grandparents and grandchildren?
Renowned anthropologist Margaret Mead (author of "Coming of Age in Samoa" and "Growing Up in New Guinea"), attributed it, partly, to being "united against a common enemy—the parents.”
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