Face it sisters, in tango you’ll get onto the dance floor more often if you wear lipstick and heels. Brothers, thank you for embracing our lusciousness, even on a bad-face bad-shoes day.
As a woman, be a bit humble and hesitant, because even if you think you’ve made eye contact, the man coming toward you might have in mind the woman behind you. As a man, in this case of mistaken intention, kindly dance with the oblivious woman who stood to accept your invitation, rather than causing her embarrassment. The other will be aware of your thoughtfulness and understand your glance.
There’s a world of intimacy you can experience in simply embracing, enjoying the music. Here verbal communication is unnecessary, only a distraction.
Moving together requires the ability and intention of both leader and follower. Effective leadership consists of an invitation that includes willingness to accommodate the other’s level of ability, continuous awareness of position and movement, and gentle clear communication. Effective following requires acute attention, but not nervous attention, as well as going with the flow, not anticipating, not competing. (Traditionally, same-sex couples dance, thus women lead if they have learned to take the role.)
Limp followers limit the dance. An effective follow has a supple firmness that the leader uses to guide her. A delicate balance is needed. The follow yields, but maintains substance, strength, and energy.
Don’t over-analyze it. The flow state, the sensation of rhythm and syncronization—though punctuated by a hesitation and a misstep—comes when you stop thinking about it.
It’s an unspoken rule that you don’t tell a partner how to improve, unless you are in a class setting or the other invites your comment. On the dance floor, you simply adapt to his or her level of expertise. You open to the moment, see what you can find to enjoy. If you don’t find much, you don’t need to dance with that partner again.
Keep taking lessons. There’s always something to improve.
When someone steps on your foot, it is simply a clumsy caress, an inevitable part of engagement with another human. Wear stiff closed-toe shoes; appropriate boundaries prevent much pain and apology.
Age can be irrelevant to sex appeal.
Everything changes, and that makes the moment more poignant. The set ends, each partner moves on, the evening ends, you go home.
Local tango:
