Let’s talk about the stressors outside your marriage, outside your being and yes, sometimes out of your control. These stressors need to be talked about because, let’s face it, they do influence your marital attitude. External stressors come from outside of us. Things like job, kids, injury or death are sometimes out of our control but can negative influences on us.
Internal stress comes from inside of us and determines our body's ability to respond to, and deal with, the external stress-inducing factors or stressors. We have all heard about how damaging stress can be to our bodies, yet we still won’t work toward processing the stress. Couples today still internalize and stifle the stress felt until it’s time explode.
We all know this approach causes more damage to even the healthiest of marriages. Managing stress can involve making changes in the external factors which confront you, or in internal factors which strengthen your ability to deal with what comes your way. External stress could be things like interpersonal relationships, balancing work and marriage or even parenting.
You’ve probably struggled with stress at some point in your life. Simply put, stress is a physical response to a feeling, situation or event that interferes with your sense of well-being. Heading these feeling off as they come is the key to healthy stress management. You could probably find a million and one stress reducing exercises on the internet, but do we look for them, more than likely not.
So when the explosion comes, what we do? We tend to use the time fighting…usually over “spilt milk” instead of finding an easier, softer more healthy way. We know the factors or emotions that cause you to feel anxious, tense or afraid are called stressors. Internal and external stressors can have the same physical and psychological effects.
You may have trouble sleeping, lose your appetite or lose interest in daily activities. You may be irritable, have headaches, stomach pains or find that you cry easily. Whether internal or external, stressors can usually be managed. Sometimes you can learn to respond to the stressor differently. You may try stress-relief techniques. And sometimes adjusting your thinking to a positive attitude can help.
Making sure you’re eating a well-balanced diet and staying active with exercise also are important tools in helping manage stress. Again, we have heard all of this before, but, would you be more apt to implement it if your marriage depended on it. If your marriage depended on the both of you approaching life’s stressors a little differently could it be better.
What would your marriage look if you two were not so snippy or defensive? Lashing out at each other over things that sometimes have nothing to do with the other of you only adds to what life is already throwing at you. We know…”I didn’t mean to.” Come on, life is full of “I didn’t mean to-s” the problem with that is we tend to judge other’s by their actions and ourselves by our intentions as if our stressors are more important than our spouses.
Guess what, this way of thinking creates more stress. If your spouse is feeling that her stress is than important, or just not as important, trust that there is more stress coming your way. As soon as she has had her fill with feeling less than you will soon know the weight of her stress. Please be aware of where you are with your stress level. Left untreated, everyday stresses can build up and lead to chronic stress. You start to think there is no way out of your miseries and worries. You may even stop looking for solutions. If you get to this point, seek help from your doctor or a mental health professional right away.
More marriage articles: http://www.examiner.com/marriage-in-wichita-falls/jack-lopez