Tips for surviving a cougar attack:
- If you encounter a cougar, try to convince it that you are not prey and that you may be dangerous. Don’t run. Don’t crouch down. Don’t stare into the cougar’s eyes.
- If the cougar holds its ground, don’t turn your back. Wave your arms and shout to appear larger. Back slowly away and return to your vehicle or shelter (or the other side of the bar).
- If a cougar approaches you, throw sticks or stones (or the words love and forever).
- If the aggression escalates, beat the animal with a stick, your fists, or other weapon (although she may be into BDSM and this will only make her come after you even more).
- If you see a cougar attack another animal (like your buddy you came to the club with) leave the area immediately.
Over the past year or so I have done several radio interviews and talked with several people that are interested in what I write and talk about at Liberator, Eden Fantasys as well as my web series, Real Women/Real Sexy. During several of these conversations I’ve been called a cougar. I’ve always laughed it off and thought, thats not really a fitting title for me. Not that I have anything against the cougars of the world. I say more power to you sisters! However, the definition of a cougar as I know it really doesn’t apply to me.
Lets take a look at what the Urban Dictionary has to say about the elusive “Cougar”
An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together.
“That cougar I met last night, showed me shit I didn't know existed, I'm goin back for more.”
Young women across the globe beware! The cougars are horny and hot and many of them really do have their “shit together.”
As I see it, a cougar is a woman who has gone through some of life’s trials and is coming out on the other side of that looking to do the same thing her male counterparts have been doing for centuries. She has her own money, her own place, maybe she’s been divorced and has a couple of kids. She’s at the club and she’s a bigger threat to young women looking for love and romance than getting roofied!
You see, the cougar isn’t looking for a man to take care of her, to buy her things, to pay her bills or trying to find a daddy for her kids. She is looking for a man to have sex with and you better damn well believe she is going to make it hot. She wants to get off and she wants it tonight. Hell, she doesn’t even want him to stay afterwards. She wants a young, virile all night, guy to take home and send on his way in the morning (or later that night depending on her mood).
She hits the club after her day at work and her long afternoon yoga session (cougars are in better shape in their 40’s then they were in their 20’s) and she’s looking right at the guy that the 20 year old has her heart set on. Now, why would a young guy take home an older woman instead of someone closer to his age? Because, the cougar isn’t afraid to play by the rules of men. Love em’ up, leave em’ wanting more and send them on their way. She may or may not call again. But, she doesn’t want your toothbrush hanging around in her bathroom. She isn’t afraid to experiment in the bedroom or even show a guy a few tricks he may have never seen before. Will he respect her in the morning or call her again? These are not questions a cougar probably asks herself as she slides in to steal him away.
While I’m in wonderment over the cougar in it’s natural habitat, I’m afraid that just isn’t me. I’m married with kids and the last time I was on the prowl so was Bill Clinton! However, I love the insinuation that I might have the ability of a cougar so maybe I’ll just let them continue to call me that. Makes me feel a little like a bad ass! Next time we’ll talk about M.I.L.F’s. Thats a title I can learn to live with. It requires no action on my part.
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