Skip to main content
  1. Life
  2. Relationships
  3. Relationship Advice

What's a "lovemap"?

Photographer: graur razvan ionut

Dr. John Gottman provides several different ways to help a couple reconnect. The first and seemingly easiest is the love map cards. These cards each hold a question that the couple takes turns asking each other. They basically interview each other to get to know each other better, or try to answer the questions for their partner.  This is a great introductory tool. It states from day one that the couple will remain in control of their treatment. This will show their willingness and ability to work with each other. The answers to the questions will provide some insight into their lives, however, I think observing the whole process will be beneficial.

The fondness and admiration system works similarly to the love map cards in several ways. First, the couple is responsible for taking charge of their treatment. Also, they use a tool, the adjective check list to get to know each other better.  They take time to describe how they feel about each other. This tool could be used in later sessions. I would not want to use it right away. Unlike the cards that have simple information, this tool could have negative consequences. If the couple wasn't able to complete the exercise there could be hard feelings, and further conflict. Conflict during a session can give a great opportunity for growth, I just wouldn't want to have perpetuated it early in treatment. I feel it's important to build trust and comfort before delving into deeper issues.

Learn more about relationships by clicking here. Or email me at Sparrow48161@gmail.com.

Comments

Advertisement

Life

  • Johnny Manziel
    Should Johnny Manziel apologize for his hard partying over the offseason?
    Today's Buzz
  • Crop circles
    Similar crop circles appeared in Germany and England within days of each other
    Camera
    19 Photos
  • Advanced placement
    The AP program is gaining traction as a key component in college admissions
    Camera
    5 Photos
  • Beach hats
    Beat the heat with the best summer beach hats for women
    Camera
    Beach Hats
  • Expectations for ministry
    Pastor preaches to newly ordained ministers about expectations for ministry
    Camera
    6 Photos
  • Medical symptoms
    See which symptoms should cause you to seek a doctor’s attention right away
    Camera
    6 Photos