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What rhymes with April?

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April is National Poetry Month, so you should write a poem, get published, make millions of dollars and become the Poet Laureate and bask in the glory of the fact that you are the world's premier wordsmith. Just kidding. Poets don't make any money until they die and while alive no one gives a damn about them or the poems they write. So what should you do to celebrate National Poetry Month? I would suggest you should at least read a poem, but seeing as I am currently residing in Sandusky, Ohio, I know that no one here will in fact read anything that isn't printed on a bottle of Mountain Dew or a syringe when these illiterate in bred heathens inject themselves with heroin. Actually, I think a syringe only has numbers on the side so these dope fiends know the right amount to shoot in their veins so I don't know if that really counts as reading. Plus, they're probably so well skilled with mainlining that they don't actually need to pay attention to the numbers; a person just knows the exact amount they need to continue being a worthless piece of crap that contributes absolutely nothing to society so I guess we're back to people in Sandusky only reading the side of a Mountain Dew bottle. But I digress ......

Why was April chosen as National Poetry Month? Hell if I know and hell if I care. Maybe because nothing else of significance occurs in April. Maybe it's just some kind of ironic joke - if no one knows how to read and doesn't care about poetry, how would they ever know April is National Poetry Month? I mean, they wouldn't be able to read it on a calendar or on the internet when they accidentally stray from watching videos off redneck ingenuity, so someone would have to tell them about it. But no one cares so no one would ever know and I wouldn't be sitting here writing about a month that doesn't exist.

Here, I'll write you a poem:

Roses are dead, violets are too,

You hate me and I hate you.

See? At least I did something to celebrate National Poetry Month. Actually, I'm just filling up time and space because I'm about to get fired from here for not writing enough articles. But at least I can read and write and know what month it is..

I have to quit nnow becauuse my kkeyyboaard seems to bbbe possesssed by a freakking gremlin or somethinnng.


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