Do you ever read those articles on "Things Men Should Know About Women" and think, what a load of crap? Here's one from MSN that just seems a little, well, like a load of crap. MSN's 11 Secrets Men Don't Know About Women:
1. Women don't like explosions, in art or in life.
Don’t like explosions? What about all that fireworks talk? We all know how women love the fireworks. Plus, some of us are real Die Hard fans.
2. Women aren't as funny as men. We're often cleverer, frequently wittier, but to be really funny demands a certain clownishness that our grace just does not allow. It's fine, really it is.
WHAT?! Tell that to Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Molly Shannon, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Wanda Sykes, Chelsea Handler, Ellen DeGeneres, Kathy Griffin, Sarah Silverman, or you know, any successful female comedian.
3. We grow pathetic goatees and look awful in cargo shorts anyway.
Okay, I'll give you that one.
4. Women are aware of about 10 percent of the things men actually think and say about us. Best to keep it under five.
This one just seems strange. Trust me, we know what you’re thinking. AND saying! We’re women. We know everything. Duh.
5. Women love to be taken out to eat . It makes our day.
A home cooked meal will work too. Any meal where we don’t have to do the prep work or cooking, or cleaning up is pretty awesome in fact. I hear men sometimes feel this way too.
6. A clean apartment will get you more bedroom antics than you'd think.
We actually don’t like the implication that we’re trading sex for a clean toilet. Kinda makes us feel, um, dirty.
7. Given the chance, women will smell and re-smell the scented-candle display at the store. We really can do this for ages.
No. No, we can’t. Here is something you will never hear a woman say : “Hey, Melissa! Know what we should do today? Let’s go to the candle store and smell candles ALL DAY LONG!! I hear they just got in ‘Blue Hydrangea.’ I KNOW! K, pick you up in five!”
8. Our clothes are complicated, our shoes unforgiving, and our constitutions delicate, so please, valet park.
Hey, you know what? Some of us like to save money, shoes be damned. In fact, some of us have tried to get our husbands to park in the less expensive yet questionable area of Houston instead of paying $50.00 to park right next to Minute Maid Park...not that I'm speaking from experience or anything.
9. Every living woman likes wedding stuff . Even lesbians.
Well this one is true. Obviously, we all live, eat and breathe for weddings. Even lesbians.
10. "Girls' night out " is usually some other woman's idea.
No it’s not. Sometimes it’s our idea. For real.
11. Women would rather be with you. We like you. Honestly, we talk about you all the time.
We do like you. If we’re in a long term relationship with you, it is very likely that we love you. But we do not talk about you all the time. Honestly.
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