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What Makes Family


As a spiritual teacher, I have often been asked about the nature of family.

  • Does “DNA” make family?
  • Why do I feel a stronger bond with non-family members?
  • Was I born into the “wrong” bloodline?

Even as a mother (currently pregnant with my second child) I am not considered an active participant in the “traditional” family. While I certainly value the institution of marriage and appreciate the traditional family format, my beliefs and the structure of my family do not limit motherhood or family by the meeting of sperm and egg.

Perhaps being adopted as an infant has made it possible for me to understand the framework of the traditional family as something broader, and at the same time, deeper and more meaningful. My birth parents were unable to keep or raise me. I was adopted by two of the most amazing people I have ever known and I have been given the opportunity to be a sister to an extraordinary woman I would never have come to know otherwise.

Family. We seek to understand its boundaries, attachments and roots. The church preaches the nature of family as extending to all who believe or commune under its doctrines. Ancient spiritual teachings embrace all humans and often all living things, as family.

But what does this really mean?

Deep bonds create the family dynamic. Whether it is a belief system, religion or bloodline, family is an energy, a connection, rather than a drop of blood or any other single characteristic.

We are born into the “right” family through spiritual contracts that existed long before our physical journey began. Through centuries of building relationships, we have made careful decisions about how and through whom we wish to come into this world.

Physical world choices of our soon-to-be parents and siblings can alter the quality of the relationships we so carefully planned while living in the spiritual realms, but do not negate them. We are meant to be where we are at the moment of birth. Through our own physical experience and choices we can attain whatever goals we envisioned in spirit form as long as we learn to reconnect to the source.

Strong “family” bonds are created in the physical world through relationships and like-minded spiritual journeys. When we discover a common vision with others and explore it together in some fashion, spiritual wisdom and awakening knit together the bonds that become deeper than merely DNA can offer.

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