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What is Modern Love 101?

For months now, I've explored the concept of Modern Love, considering relationships from a perspective not fully defined. No surprise there; love is one of those experiences that speaks from the heart and with words that cannot be written. (Photo: Amanda Holden)

Modern Love encompasses more than romantic interludes, sex and intimacy, dating and heartbreak. Sometimes it challenges us to face our shadows, accept our flaws, and raise ourselves to be better lovers, parents, siblings and friends. It is fundamentally a paradigm shift that encourages us to approach life and love from the perspective of a Mensch, of expanding our hearts and minds when they’d rather contract from fear and anxiety.

Modern Love is social commentary that may offend some, but only those unwilling to see past the initial affront that serves to reveal disparaging views and harmful assumptions. It advocates authenticity and greater tolerance within individuals and communities.  And it is homage to lovers and friends whose caresses and words teach us more than we can comfortably share. Modern Love is a testament to hope, respect and faith in the human spirit.

In that spirit, below are a few of my favorite quotes from previously published columns on Modern Love that can serve to define it even further:

marriage: Marriage is of this world, Modern Love is not. It is transcendent. It is complicated, tender, and unpredictable, and sometimes we make unwise decisions when our hearts and heads aren’t communicating. Read more...

 

children: Each time I’ve let my children down, they have been there with their sweet and grubby little hands helping me rise back up. Big resilience comes in little packages. Read more...

pet peeves: Husbands (and wives) have annoying habits, some we learn to live with, some we learn to love, and some we want to take out with the trash (the habits, not the spouse). Read more...

 

 

Michael Jackson: He was, in a sense, both black and white, man and boy, male and female, gregarious and shy; a celebrity that we all felt we knew, but who was really a stranger in his own skin. Read more...

regret: “People so seldom say I love you, and then it's either too late or love goes. So when I told you I loved you, it didn't mean I knew you'd never go, only that I wished you didn't have to.” - anonymous Read more...

 

letting go: When it comes to Modern Love, it is up to you to determine how cumbersome and heavy your past will be. You can set it down. You can say goodbye to your burdens and fears, and welcome in something new. Read more...

multiple loves and lovers: Grown-up love sometimes means holding a tender space for another, not because one is carrying a torch, but because one simply loves.  Polyamour stretched in this way is a matter of growing our minds to catch up with what our hearts already comprehend: love knows no boundaries. Read more...

sex and sexuality: At its most sublime, sex is an expression of physical and spiritual connection.  In our lover’s embrace and in our mutual satisfaction, we are momentarily transcendent.  Making love with intention to stroke more than just each others bodies opens up the possibility for a deeper delight, one in which when we kiss one another, the divine kisses us back. Read more...

bitches: Psychologically healthy and confident males rarely put up with demanding, self-righteous women (regardless of how attractive they might be) for more than a few dates or a quickie in the sack. Read more...  

 

booty calls: When one is young and hormonal, standards for good loving are almost nonexistent in the pursuit of a willing partner.  Breath and flesh – that’s about all it takes in the beginning. Read more... 

 

making love: It isn’t about the props or having the perfect body; it’s about one's attitude, a desire to please more than to be pleased. Read more... 

 

Keep reading, and know that t

he best compliment you can give me is to share this column with your family and friends. Follow me on twitter: ModernLoveWritr.

Send questions to tmbsdre@yahoo.com  

© 2009 all rights reserved Tinamarie Bernard

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, Modern Love Examiner

Tinamarie is a top-rated writer of sex, love and relationships. From celebrity relationships, sacred and eco-sexuality, erotica and feminism, to dating and mating advice for couples who want to deepen intimacy, Tinamarie covers what today's Modern Lovers want to know about. You can send her...

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