Competition invites teens to discover their personal best. But when does competition create obstacles to intimacy with their peers?
I was recently able to observe a group of teen girls getting to know each other. As they were sharing about what they like to do in their spare time, I noticed a significant difference in they way they were sharing.
A couple of the girls easily made eye contact, and spoke of subjects that invited the other girls to nod in agreement, or respond with a smile. A few of the girls felt compelled to go into lengthy details of their personal accomplishments, without looking at the other girls.
This got me thinking ... what was the meaning behind these differing styles of expression, and how did this affect the listener? Here are my thoughts:
I would imagine that teens, with the changes going on in their lives, are looking for ways to feel good about themselves. By comparing themselves to others, they attempt to measure how well they are doing in regards to appearance, grades, friendships, talents, and material possessions.
Yet, when is it appropriate to turn off the competition, to simply be with others? If teens are looking to create a connection with other girls, they need to consider putting aside competition and look into their eyes, to see them for who they truly are.
Bragging is one way for teen girls to validate their self-worth. "Look at me. I can do this really well." We all enjoy sharing a success in our lives. But when bragging is intended to leave others feeling inferior, it is too much.
It is important for teen girls to understand that each and every one of them is a gift to this world, and that there is more than enough space for each of them to shine. It is a truly self-confident girl who can encourage and applaud another's success.
Namaste: "I honor the place within you where the entire Universe resides; I honor the place within you of love, of light, of truth, of peace; I honor the place within you, where, when you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, there is only one of us." ~ Mahatma Gandhi
*Note: If your teen is struggling, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it. Help is just a phone call away! Click on the following link for more information. - Sandra Dupont--LA Teen Therapist
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