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What If I’m Not Ready for Relationship?

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There is a good reason why you think you might not be ready for a next relationship. Want to know what it is?

Because you AREN'T!

Think about it. If you are dating someone for the second time, you, of course, AREN'T ready to move in with that person and get married right NOW, right? No way! You don’t know them yet, you haven’t created yourself to be a couple yet, you have no recurrent history with that person to know who you are together, or whether you can trust them or even what you both want to create together and a hundred other things... So from a certain point of view, you are RIGHT! You are NOT ready.

But that doesn’t mean you won’t be ready at a later point!

This was true for my husband and I. We weren't ready for our relationship when we first met either. He was living in Denmark, didn't want to leave his family in Europe, and was looking for a young unattached woman to get married to and have kids with in Europe. I was living in California, was 15 years older, had two kids... We were pretty darn sure there was no way our relationship would last beyond the next visit! We just kept loving each other and seeing each other one more time, and after awhile, California felt more like home to Christian than Denmark, my kids began calling him Dad and we didn’t want to ever be apart again and decided to get married and live together. We "readied" ourselves over time to this amazing life we now live together.

I jokingly tell people, that if we had jumped into our relationship any quicker than we did, I would have had a nervous breakdown. It took time for my body and circumstances and thoughts to align with this new reality that was being created, with this new relationship that was a much closer MATCH to my ideal vision of relationship than I had ever before experienced.

If we had tried to rush things faster, we would not be together today. If we had decided on the first, second or third or sixth date to marry or not, we would have not married. We couldn’t see that possibility. It wasn’t real for us. Our relationship wasn’t “cooked” yet.

So many singles are in such a rush to hurry and get to the end, that they miss out on taking the steps required to get them to where they want to go.

So don't worry if you aren't ready now. Of course you aren't!

If you were ready now, you would already be there.

And just because you aren’t ready now, doesn’t mean you won’t be ready when you get there.

In the course of dating and developing relationship slowly over the time, you will ready yourself for what is coming little by little. And at some point, with all of those one-by-one steps, you will find yourself ready for your future vision of your next relationship.

How will you know?

Because you will be living it!!

Bio: Sonika Tinker, MSW, and Christian Pedersen, loving husband-wife team, are Relationship Experts, coaches, mediators, trainers and authors with over 40 years combined experience coaching and leading courses helping hundreds of singles and couples to dramatically improve relationships. Owners of LoveWorks, a cutting-edge relationship training company, both are passionately committed to shifting the current relationship paradigm from blame, resignation and scarcity to one of joyful, expansive, delightful co-creation. They offer a unique leading-edge relationship solution that is uplifting, light-hearted and powerfully effective. Loveworksforyou.com

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