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What does the winter solstice mean to you?

Stonehenge at solstice is more than just 2 for 1 meads at the village tavern
Stonehenge at solstice is more than just 2 for 1 meads at the village tavern
Matt Cardy/Getty Images

What is a ‘solstice?’

A, A patch for a wound

B, In the northern hemisphere Earth’s axis is pointed away from the Sun bringing less light and colder temperatures, thus giving us the longest night of the year.

C, When the Earth tips a little too far on its axis, Michelle Bachmann pronounces it the ‘Devil’s work’ and we’ll get swallowed up in hell if one more State gives gays and lesbians equal rights.

The answer will be ‘C’. Tune in to Fox News for their year-end update on Democrat caused catastrophes and other extreme religious ‘end of days’ crap.

No matter, the winter solstice arrives at 5:11 p.m. on Dec. 21, marking 4 of the shortest shopping days until Christmas.

The solstice has been celebrated since the middle ages when malls would close early due to less light and cause people to ‘shop in the dark.’

The word ‘Solstice’ is derived from the Greek with ‘Sol’ meaning ‘sun’ and ‘stice’ meaning ‘consumer driven economy.’

To some, the amount of daylight depends on the tilt in the Earth’s axis of rotation as the sun appears to rise and fall in the sky throughout the year.

This is not news to the States that have legalized marijuana.

Citizens in those states have been ‘burning small sacrifices’ to the sun as it moves across the sky and It rises and falls slower or faster depending on the strength of that weed.

At the actual time of the solstice the sun stops going south and pauses, motionless. Then after solstice, it is again moving northward in the sky each day.

The National Science Foundation tells us this momentary pause does not mean that the sun is ‘angry’ and has refused to move because of any bad things we’ve done on Earth.

Tell that to Michelle Bachmann.