Are you stressed out, tensed out or bummed out? Well, then you might want to recharge your batteries and adjust your attitude if you want to land Mr. Right. Men love the happy, busy, light and breezy woman! The stressed out, angry or bitter woman does NOT do so well with men.
You might be asking, is it easy to be happy, serene and light and breezy? For some women, it comes natural. For others, they have to work at it! But the results do follow... and they are great! Not only are you happier with yourself, you're able to handle stress better AND you are more attractive to your man.
Keep these pointers in mind if you're dating a guy or even married:
-If your man has worked hard to get you, then reward him by being easy to be with. That means you are not so controlling or hard to please. Cut him some slack! If you doesn't take you to that five star restaurant for your birthday, but instead to your favorite Mexican spot, then just enjoy it! Express your appreciation. Next time you'll go to the five star restaurant.
-Learn to control your emotions. Too many angry outbursts can cause a break in the relationship. If you're hot headed or often angry, consider taking an anger management course. If you want to improve your reactions to your partner's behavior, put some space before reacting. Take a few slow breaths. Go for a quick brisk walk or use the bathroom for a few minutes to deep breath and collect your thoughts. Avoid name calling and yelling. Come at your partner with respect. Tell him how his behavior made you feel. Ask him what he meant when he did x, said y. Keep it brief!!! (Men do not like women who go on and on about anything). Sometimes we assume things, and our assumptions can be false and get us into trouble! Express yourself succinctly, avoid too much emotion (men listen to you better that way), and resolve the situation amicably. If you can't, then consider taking a longer breather to think about things, and talk about it at a later time. This way you'll be calmer, too!
-Choose your battles carefully. Learn to let things go. Not every little thing deserves an argument! When we learn to let things go (especially the little things), we feel much better and lighter. Carrying a heavy load of grievances or ill feelings towards others can affect our immunity, our mood and our energy! If something is upsetting you, surrender it to your Higher Power, then either take appropriate action to remedy the situation (sometimes that simply involves telling the other person how you feel respectfully) or LETTING IT GO.
-Learn to communicate respectfully and be patient. Again, your words are powerful. They can cause great pain or they can cause positive change. Choose your words carefully. Be patient. Things cannot and will not change over night. They require time, effort and consistency. Stay positive and keep going!
-Appreciate your man. Reward him for the small stuff so he'll want to do even more for you. He takes out the garbage, "Thanks honey, I appreciate it!" He buys you groceries, "Oh, great, I really needed milk! Thank you so much!" He takes you to a movie, "That movie was great. Really made my day." Limit your negative comments (esp in the beg 3-6 months of dating, but even while married) and focus on the positive. Remember, what you focus on tends to show up in your life. If you want MORE of what a man is doing, reward him by giving him appreciation. If you don't want more of what he is doing, ignore him. Punish him with your absence. Let his inappropriate comments fall flat.
-Bring out your child like joy. Be happy and fun to be around. Be light and breezy. Stay away from nagging and yelling and giving 20 minute sermons! Keep it short and sweet.
-Do whatever you need to do to get to a place of being happy and serene: exercise, take walks, write in a journal, talk to your friend or therapist, meditate, eat lots of fruits and veggies, join a support group or a running, knitting or bike riding group, etc.
-Meditation helps you become more aware, conscious and present. Without those three things, change is extremely difficult. Consider meditating with Holosync. (For more information on the life changing benefits of meditating check out my article "Meditate Your Way To A Fabulous Life")
-ENJOY life! Don't be so serious. Don't take things too personally. Remember you only have one life to live. Make it count!
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