What are your sexpectations-2

Are you ready to spice up your sex life? Do you want to enhance your sexual repertoire with some fun and sexy tips? Is there something about sex you’ve always wanted to know but did not know who to ask? Well you’ve come to the right place!

What are your sexpectations? Are you ready to spice up your sex life? Do you want to enhance your sexual repertoire with some fun and sexy tips? You want to blow your lover’s mind with some amazing techniques? Is there something about sex you’ve always wanted to know but did not know who to ask? Well you’ve come to the right place! Every week I will answer your most intimate questions regarding sex, sexuality, love & relationships!

~Sexpertly Yours, TaMara

Q. I think my son may be having sex because I caught him with a girl in the house when I wasn’t home. He says they weren’t doing anything, but I’m not so sure of that. I want to have “The Talk” with him but will talking to my son about sex and condoms encourage him to have sex?

A. Talking to your child about sex and condoms does not mean they're going to have sex just like purchasing auto insurance doesn't mean you're going to get into an accident BUT just in case you do, you're protected. The same goes for your child. Give them him proper education (i.e. a discussion on safer sex, abstinence and the physical, emotional, spiritual, financial and social consequences of having sex) and tools to protect himself. So just in case he decides he’s ready to have sex, he can make an informed decision.

Q. I am a 25 year old woman and I have never experienced an orgasm! What is the quickest way for me to have one? Can you please tell me?

A. The easiest and quickest way to experience an orgasm is to STOP trying. Having “goal-oriented sex” is a sure way to not meet your “goal!” Women who are more comfortable with their body and overall sexuality are more likely to experience sexual pleasure. Also, having a thorough understanding of your body and how it works helps to increase your chances of experiencing orgasm. Exercising the PC muscles, self-pleasure and talking with your partner about what REALLY gives you pleasure are all helpful techniques. But most importantly RELAX! Tension in your body, stress and emotional blocks will also prevent you from experiencing an orgasm. Check out my articles Experience the Ultimate Orgasm and The Art of Self Pleasure for more helpful information and tips.

Q. Right before my period, I get really horny and I want to have sex all the time. Is this normal?

A. Yes, it is natural for women to get “really horny” right before her monthly cycle. You can thank the high levels of oestrogen and testosterone that spikes before and during ovulation. That combined with lots of slippery cervical fluids helps to skyrocket your sex drive which keeps you wanting it more and more!

Q. I was talking with a group of girlfriends and one of them mentioned that she thought about trying g-spot injections to enhance her orgasms. I’ve never heard of this before. What are g-spot injections? Does it work and what are your thoughts on this?

A. G-Spot injections also known as G-Spot Amplification is aprocedure that can temporarily enlarge the G-Spot and enhance sexual sensitivity and pleasure during intercourse. The procedure takes about 10-15 minutes and is usually performed in a doctor’s office. During the procedure, a small amount of collagen is directly placed into the G-Spot increasing it to about the size of a quarter. Each shot last about 4 months and the results varies from woman to woman. Repeat injections are required every three months to maintain the effect. There is a laundry list of potential risk associated with this procedure. My concern with the G-Spot Amplification is that first and foremost there has not been a documented study on the safety and efficacy of the procedure. It is an invasive procedure that involves inserting something into the vagina that has never been approved by the FDA (Food and Drug Administration). Another concern is that over time the procedure can cause permanent scarring to the G-Spot erectile tissue which can lead to female erectile dysfunction and other sexual dysfunctions. If your concern is the inability to experience orgasm or if the desire is to enhance your sexual life, then you may want to consider working with a sex counselor or therapist to address your concern in a more holistic way. Medical intervention is not always the best way. We're always looking for quick fixes for lots of things in our lives, and sexuality is no different. However, it’s going to take more than a shot to create an orgasmic sex life.

Q. I heard this on the radio this morning and I wanted to get your opinion on it. A guy gave his current girlfriend lingerie that he gave to an Ex, who only wore it once. I ask, a. Is this ok? and b. Is it best to allow the woman pick her own or is it ok for guys to choose their lady's lingerie outfits.

A. No, I do not think it's ok to give anyone a gift that was intended for someone else, especially a used gift that is of an intimate and sexual nature. Not only is it inappropriate, but it also poses a potential health risk. In terms of picking out lingerie, it think it's ok for a guy to pick out something sexy that he would like to see his lady in. When in doubt, go together to a lingerie store and make a fun and naughty game out of picking and trying on pieces. To really spice it up, try to sneak into the fitting room with her as she's trying it on!

If you would like to have your question answered, please email your question(s) to tamara@sexpertlyyours.com and I will include it in my weekly Sexpectations post. All questions will remain anonymous.

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, Baltimore Sexual Health Examiner

TaMara, a sex therapist, counselor and educator has extensive experience in the field of HIV/AIDS and Sexually Transmitted Infections. She has published several curriculums to empower women and youth with the skills to make safer sexual decisions. TaMara has a Master of Science degree in...

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