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What are your sexpectations

What Are Your Sexpectations?
What Are Your Sexpectations?

Are you ready to spice up your sex life? Do you want to enhance your sexual repertoire with some fun and sexy tips? You want to blow your lover’s mind with some amazing techniques? Is there something about sex you’ve always wanted to know but did not know who to ask? Well you’ve come to the right place! Every week I will answer your most intimate questions regarding sex, sexuality, love & relationships! If you would like to have your question answered, please email your question(s) to and I will include it in my weekly Sexpectations post. All questions will remain anonymous.

~Sexpertly Yours, TaMara

Q. How do I tell my partner that I want more of the same (sexually) without bruising his ego?

A. Talk to your partner about the great times you’ve already had in bed. Be very specific about what you need. Rather than criticizing your partner about the things you don’t like, say exactly what you love and tell him you want more of it. You can also take his hands and gently guide them to your “hot spots.” As you guide his hands be sure to moan and groan to indicate that you are turned on and enjoying it. These two techniques will help to ensure that your partner is giving you what you want + boosting his confidence because he knows he’s pleasing you = mind blowing orgasms for both of you!

Q. I just noticed that every time I have sex with a condom, my vagina is itchy and irritated? Could there be something wrong with the condoms I am using?

A. There is a possibility that you may have a latex allergy. If that is the case, stay away from the latex! The irritation that you experience can make you more susceptible to infections. You may consider trying to use a polyurethaneand polyisoprene condom. They provide a fantastic alternative to latex. An added advantage to polyisoprene condoms is that they're ultra thin which offers a more natural feel!

Q. How do you know when you’re truly over someone?

A. Very good question! You will know that you are truly over someone when: 1) What that person does or says can no longer affect you, one way or the other. You won’t feel the need to respond. 2) When you see that person with or without someone, it does not bother you. You can smile, acknowledge them and continue on your way without being devastated. 3) You don’t have to go out of your way to avoid them. Changing your routine indicates that there’s still some emotional tie that has power of you and 4) When you don’t wish any harm or ill-intent on the person and you can genuinely wish them well. This is a sign indicating that you’ve healed and put closure to that area of your life.

Q. What is a Sex Coach and what do you do?

A. A Sex Coach is a trained professional that has extensive experience in the field of Human Sexuality and counseling/therapy. He or she uses their experience to empower couples and individuals enrich their sexual experiences, develop their sexuality, confront and triumph over challenges and/or address sexual concerns. Sex coaching is different from traditional therapy, in that the process is client driven, focused on the clients’ present state of sexuality and moves toward future a healthy sexual future. Another major difference is that sex coaching does not diagnose or pathologize behaviors. Sex coaching is fully directed at promoting healing from emotional, intellectual, spiritual and social wounds without labeling as wrong or shameful. The Sex Coach plays an interactive role. Traditional therapy focuses on addressing an individuals’ past and identifying how those past concerns relate to a clients' current state of sexuality. Sex coaching is about personalized education rather than trying to fit a client into a therapeutic program or theory. Sex coaching plans are specifically designed for each individual client.

Q. I heard the douching was not healthy. Can you explain why?

A. The vagina is designed to naturally cleanse itself so there is no need to use a vaginal douche. Additionally, vaginal douching washes away good bacteria that's keeps that vaginal healthy. Douching also can push bad bacteria further up into the reproductive tract, causing infections like pelvic inflammatory disease which if left untreated can cause issues like infertility. Also, steer clear from using perfumed soaps and body washes in the vulva. These products can strip the vulva of its natural oils causing dryness and irritation creating a portal of entry for STIS and other infections.

Q. I am not a lesbian but lately I've been getting turned on sexually by attractive women and I often have fantasies about having sex with these women. I would prefer a man to finish me off but wouldn't mind being with a woman for foreplay. Is this natural?

A. I'm so glad that you use the word "natural" and not "normal!" you are not alone, many woman fantasize about same sex situations and find themselves turned on. Fantasizing or even acting out sexual desires with the same sex does not define or label a person’s sexuality. It’s only a sexual preference that you chose to explore.


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