What a parent can do to support a child with bipolar disorder

 
 

One of the most popular question a parent asks when his or her child has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder is “How can I help my child?” There are a number of things parent should and shouldn’t do.

First, the phrases that a parent uses can often be helpful or hurtful.   Some of the phrases that can help include:

• • You are not alone in this. I am here for you.
• • I understand that you have an illness and that is not your fault. It is what causes these feelings and thoughts that you have.
• • You may not believe it now, but you’re feelings will change.
• • You are important to me. Your life is important.
• • Tell me what I can do now to help you.
• • We can do this together.

Some of the things to avoid saying include:

• • It’s all in your head
• • We all go through times like this
• • You’ll be fine. Stop worrying so much
• • You have so much to live for; why would you want to die?
• • Just snap out of it
• • What’s wrong with you?
• • Shouldn’t you be better by now?

Some of those phrases to avoid may seem obvious, some not so much. Take the phrase “You have so much to live for; why would you want to die?” This may seem an innocent statement; however, it can be harmful because it causes the person to focus on the negative. When asking “Why would you want to die” the person could think about all the bad parts of life which make it seem so overwhelming. Much like positive thoughts, negative thoughts have a snowball effect. If you think one negative thought, another is sure to follow, especially if one is in a depressive state already.

Another way a loved one can help is by providing lifestyle changes. Healthy diet, exercise and a sleeping routine all help with good mental health for anyone, especially with those who have a mood disorder. Identify the areas in life the person would like to change and set goals to help them change.
For instance, if the person with bipolar disorder does not have a set bed-time, or wake-time, have them write the goal “I will go to bed by XXX p.m. and wake up at XXX a.m.” Having the child help decide bedtimes and wake times will give them the sense that they have control over some aspects of the disorder.

If the child has troublesome eating habits, visit with a nutritionist to help develop a lifestyle eating plan. This is not a diet in the sense of weight loss, but a diet in the sense of an eating plan. Fresh foods help boost moods and provide a healthier physical body which will tolerate exercise.

Exercise of any kind is good. If the child is not typically physically active, start slow. Consult with a physician or the health teacher at school for fun exercises. Exercise is a natural mood booster and helps stabilize the mood swings.

Goal-setting is one of the biggest things caretakers can do to help their child make progress. The child will work on goal-setting with his or her therapist or doctor, but parents can help too. Working with the child and mental health professional, the parent can outline the goals that the child wishes to complete: both long-term and short-term goals. Perhaps creating this goal list on a poster board will help the child remember what he or she is working towards. Placing the poster on the child’s wall will provide a visual reminder. The child can then cross off the tasks completed and achieve a sense of accomplishment. If there are too many goals, break them down into shorter action plans, such as a monthly or weekly basis.

Above all, be supportive. Know that the bipolar disorder is not his or her fault, it is not your fault but with treatment things can get better. There is no cure at this time. Having the child involved in his or her treatment teaches the child how to handle the problems that will last throughout his or her lifetime. Just as a child with juvenile diabetes is taught about his or her illness, so should a child with bipolar disorder or any mental health disorder.

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