Actor/filmmaker Wentworth Miller has candidly revealed that he tried to kill himself more than once during a period of time when he struggled with accepting his homosexuality, according to a video that TMZ posted on Sept. 8, 2013. Miller, who is best known for starring in the TV series "Prison Break," came out as gay in August 2013.
The TMZ video of Miller was taken when he was a special guest speaker at the Human Rights Campaign Seattle Gala on Sept. 7, 2013. During his speech, Miller said that he first attempted suicide when he was 15 years old.
Miller (who is 41) said, "Growing up I was a target. Speaking the right way, standing the right way, holding your wrist the right way. Every day was a test and there were a thousand ways to fail, a thousand ways to betray yourself, to not live up to someone else's standards of what was accepted, of what was normal ...
"The first time I tried to kill myself I was 15. I waited until my family went away for the weekend and I was alone in the house, and I swallowed a bottle of pills. I don't remember what happened over the next couple of days, but I'm pretty sure come Monday morning I was on the bus back to school, pretending everything was fine. And when someone asks me if that was a cry for help, I'd say, 'No.' You only cry for help if you believe there's help to cry for. And I didn’t need it, I wanted out."
When Miller became famous as the star of "Prison Break," there were rampant rumors that he was gay, but he either denied it or dodged questions from the media about his sexuality. Miller has now admitted that during his "Prison Break" days, he was afraid that coming out of the closet would hurt his career.
Miller publicly disclosed his sexuality in August 2013, when he declined an invitation to attend the St. Petersburg International Film Festival in Russia. In a letter to the festival organizers, he said that although he appreciated the invitation, as a gay man, he could not accept the invitation because he does not condone Russia's anti-gay laws. "People like myself are being systematically denied their basic right to live and love openly," he stated in the letter.
"Prison Break" was on the air from 2005 to 2009. After "Prison Break" was cancelled, Miller kept a relatively low profile. He had guest appearances on the TV series "House" and "Young Justice." He also had a supporting role in the 2010 movie "Resident Evil: Afterlife."
Miller made his debut as a screenwriter and movie producer with the 2013 psychological thriller "Stoker," starring Nicole Kidman, Mia Wasikowska and Matthew Goode. (Miller was not in "Stoker" as an actor.) Miller's next movie as an actor is "The Loft," which is about five male friends who use a loft for extramarital affairs but then a woman's dead body ends up in the loft. "The Loft" is scheduled for release in U.S. and Canadian theaters on Aug. 29, 2014.