Recent studies have shown that many social and psychological problems that we deal with into today's society have a lot to do with the flight or fight response. It is in our nature that when a problem arises that we instinctively do one of two things, either fight or flight. But in today's world, neither one of these options are obtainable in many situations. And to do either one of these things are frowned upon in our society. So sadly, many people have developed an unhealthy alternative, a third option, and that is to feed ourselves when trouble arises.
This third option was taught to us as young children by our families. As children, we were told to sit in our seats and to not physically fight another person, as the punishments would be severe. Although it is correct, that in a more civilized society, we can't go around hitting and running away every time there is a problem, a more excepaible alternative however, was never taught, and never developed in our society. So as a result, people were left on their own, trying to deal with conflicts the best way they new how, with whatever was at their disposal And in the US food, is the most abundant. Fast food places have sprung up everywhere, making it even more available, even on the go, without having to take the time to cook it. So it's makes the quickest and easiest alternative. Even people who don't have money for other things, can obtain food.
Food has the ability to make you forget about conflicts and bad feelings if only for a little while. It serves as momentary distraction, allowing us to bury the pain. But the problem with burying it, is that it always comes back to the surface, and when it does, we try to bury it again with more food. And the better it tastes to us, the sweeter it is, the more effect it has with the burying process.
So how can we as individuals, turn this over eating habit around? How can we effectively deal with conflicts without turning to food? The best way is to go back to our instincts using the fight or flight response, but modifying it in a more acceptable way.
Instead of grabbing food, use the fight response, but not in a way that would hurt others. Using this response will get the issues out into the open and dealt with so they are gone, instead of being buried to resurface sometime later. Keeping a journal would help with this. Just right down all the things you would want to say to the other person. Write down about 5 different ways or ideas that you would want to present. Choose the best one you want to go with and deliver it to that person, in a number of different formats. Through mail, email, phone etc. If the person is difficult and completely unreasonable, then write these drafts, choose the best one, then destroy it, sending it out to the wind. Then you may consider severing contacts with this person, if at all possible.
When you are in a situation, a conflict that's getting out of control, the flight response could be used in a more subtle way. It's good to leave the room to clear the air for awhile to allow you and the other person to think. You could find a reason to leave the room, like run an errand, take a break or use the restroom. When you do this, take several deep breaths and allow yourself to clear your mind. Try to avoid them for the day, if at all possible. Then go home and use your journal to come up with ideas or solutions to solve the problem. Your goal is to come up with a way to change the situation for the next day, even if it's just a small positive step in the right direction. The bottom line is working on the issues instead of burying them, go a long way in over coming the habit of over eating.
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