Weekend Box Office: Who came out on top-- Tom Cruise, Adam Sandler, or 'Toy Story 3'? Go on, guess

  The only reason we're using this poster here is because I'm bored with the Toy Story one

Another weekend, another round of box office projections have come rolling in to the Comedy Examiner's Office.  This week, we've got a rare triple-header of comedies on offer in theaters, and everyone's been waiting to see...well, quite a bit, actually.  For one thing, does Tom Cruise still have any pull left with audiences, and will Knight and Day bring him back to the level of superstardom he used to enjoy?  Secondly, would people really ignore those terrible trailers for Grown-Ups and pay to see that movie, anyway?  Finally, how well would Toy Story 3 hold up in its second week of release after a record-setting (for Pixar) opening weekend?  Well, if you can't be bothered to read the whole article, the answers are: "Nope"; "Yep"; and "Incredibly well".  For those of you who revel in the details, we've got 'em for you below, my gentle Examiner readers....

Well, it appears that Tom Cruise really needs to get to work on that Les Grossman movie he's been threatening to make for the past month or so: Knight and Day is not the return to box office form that the actor was surely hoping for.  Another non-surprise is the big projections for Grown-Ups, a film you literally could not pay me to sit through (despite the fact that I usually enjoy Adam Sandler...but not this Adam Sandler, if you catch my drift).  Finally, Toy Story 3 is going to own everyone's lame ass for the forseeable future, so get used to seeing it in the top spot, folks.  Let's get into the details, courtesy of Deadline Hollywood:

1. TOY STORY 3: Estimated $60 million for the weekend

Well, no surprises here: Pixar's still king of the box office.  Not only do they only make great films (don't mention Cars; you're going to screw up my whole paragraph), but they know how to make films that are great enough to warrant repeat viewings.  Toy Story 3 earned some of the best reviews of the year-- come to think of it, it's likely the best-reviewed film of the year thus far-- and it won't be leaving the top spot for a few more weeks.  Rake it in while you can, Disney: Tangled looks like a mess.

2. GROWN-UPS: Estimated $40 million for the weekend

Oh, you've gotta be effing kidding me.  Did you people not see the trailers for this one?  Did you not read the reviews?  As long as we keep rewarding this sorta behavior, we've got no excuse bitching about how Hollywood doesn't make great, challenging films.  If you saw this film over the weekend, stay far away from where I'm at for the rest of your life.  It's not that I don't like the people involved here, it's just that I'm allergic to lazy writing and formulaic plots.  Everyone involved-- from the stars to the audience-- should be ashamed.

3. KNIGHT AND DAY: Estimated $19 million for the weekend, $27m for the five-day (ouch)

When Grown-Ups does double the business your film did and it's not even showing in 3D, it's time to get cracking on Mission: Impossible 4.  And to make sure that Jessica Alba, Olivia Munn, and Katy Perry all have 3D nude scenes in it.  You know, just to be sure.  What more can we say about Knight and Day?  The critics weren't particularly harsh on it, but that just indicates that people are turned off by Tom Cruise.  Compare with Grown-Ups, which did far worse with critics.  Why do you think that is?  Before anyone jumps my ass, be aware that I consider myself a fan of Cruise's work.  This one just didn't interest audiences enough.  Sucks to see it happen to the guy, but there it is.

4. KARATE KID: Estimated $15 million for the weekend

This one's a powerhouse, ain't it?  Jaden Smith's officially a movie star, Jackie Chan thinks he's on the road to a comeback, and the studio's already greenlit a sequel.  Don't be surprised if this thing turns into an entire new trilogy, sans Macchio (which isn't really a trilogy worth making, according to people who still enjoy the work of Ralph Macchio).  I haven't seen the film, have no plans to, but congrats to all involved: you've got the sleeper hit of the summer to add to your resume. 

5. THE A-TEAM: Estimated $5.5 million for the weekend

This one just hasn't done the business that anyone expected it to, but no one can really figure out precisely why.  Is it 80's fatigue?  People sick of Bradley Cooper's face?  Were people laughing at the trailer rather than with it?  Who knows?  All that matters is that we won't be seeing an A-Team sequel any time soon, but don't be surprised if the whole franchise gets a reboot in about six months, because that's the way Hollywood works.

As for the rest, what can I tell you? Shrek Forever After's still earning money with someone, somewhere, and this weekend it'll earn another $3.5m on its way to a $229.9m total.  Dreamworks is probably sour they couldn't get this one to $300m, but for a summer that's been as disappointing as this one's been in Hollywood, $230m ain't nothing to laugh at.  In seventh place was Disney's Prince of Persia, which will probably be recognized as this summer's second-biggest bomb when everything's said and done: $3.2m for the weekend and $86.6m cumulative.  Ouch.  Get Him to The Greek is still hanging in their with another $3m added to its coffers, and the critically-reviled Killers is right behind it with $2m (and a $44m total, which Knight and Day will only barely beat at the rate it's going). 

But the biggest story not taking place in the top five is Jonah Hex, which sunk all the way down to tenth place (and may get bounced out of it before all's said and done for the weekend) with $1.5m.  That means that Jonah Hex still will not have cracked $10m by the time this weekend's out.  For a film that cost a reported $70m to produce, that's a pretty big bomb.  This is the film that'll be remembered before Prince of Persia as the summer's biggest trainwreck, and it may well be disastrous enough to spell the end of Megan Fox's career.  Time to drop that no-nudity clause, sweetie: you're down to the last few straws you've got. 

That's all we've got for you for now, folks, but stay tuned for more as it becomes available.  In the meantime, we've got all manner of funny videos, news, reviews, interviews, recaps, funny pictures, and more to keep you entertained all summer long, so hit the "Subscribe" button up top to get all of it delivered straight to your inbox, free of charge, the moment it's published.  Why, if that wasn't enough, we've also got some other recent Comedy Examiner articles for you to look over while you're here:

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(photos: top--allmovieposters.com, next three--collider.com, bottom three--slashfilm.com, very bottom--myspace.com)