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We’ve lost that loving feeling and it’s gone, gone, gone…or is it?

The beginning....
The beginning....
Photo by ChinaFotoPress/Getty Images

Do you remember make out sessions that lasted for hours? Back in the late 80’s early 90’s when I was a teenager kissing was everything. You spent hours upon hours kissing and fondling each other because that’s all you could do. I remember kissing my high school sweetheart for hours on end and it was great. Then you hit your twenties. Your twenties were all about self-discovery, you were out on your own feeling like a grown up and in your mind you were invincible. Life was great, you didn’t worry about tomorrow because today was all that mattered. You graduated from just kissing to hooking up with no strings attached. The world was changing all around us and we found comfort in casual sex. Then around the age of 30 something happened, hooking up seemed so trivial. You tried to remember what it felt like for a man to not only please you but to want to please you. You started thinking about what happened to good fulfilling sex, when did the switch occur? And then it hits you, woman gained power and men gave it up.

Women realized they had control over their bodies and their sexuality and started using this new found power. Women were making money and holding higher positions at work. Sex and the City was out and we realized that we could have sex without feelings and we felt empowered. Men started recognizing women were acting more and more like them and stopped trying. They didn’t have to approach us because we approached them, they didn’t have to hint at having sex because we flat out told them that we wanted sex from them. All they really had to do was “show up” because we took care of everything else.

Since men didn’t have to work to get us anymore they started performing less and less in the bedroom and we didn’t say a word. We stopped foreplay because that was old school and we went right for the action. Meaningless sex lasted all of our twenties and the majority of our thirties until we started to feel like we were missing something. Sex without affection continued and each time we found ourselves feeling emptier and emptier after each escapade. We couldn’t pin point what was missing until around the age of 37, that’s when reality kicked in and we realized what we were missing was intimacy.

Ahhhh intimacy the missing link to this new sexual revolution. What we forgot was everything that turned us on about sex started with kissing and foreplay. We forgot that there is no end without a beginning. We didn’t know that removing foreplay from our lives would leave us bitter and unsatisfied. We didn’t know that a generation of men would forget how to satisfy a woman because we conditioned them to think we didn’t need it. Once we realized the damage created by our empowerment it was too late.

Women are upset, men have forgotten the art of seduction and everyone is dissatisfied with their sex life. People have stopped talking to each other and only communicate via text. We have become a generation of people only wanting to please self and we have sacrificed everything that made us human and unique for quick and easy ways to connect to each other. Sex starts with communication. Talking to one another is the essential part of a relationship.

All hope is not lost though. This month we are going to tackle these relationship issue in a series of real conversations with men and women on what they are missing from their relationship and hopefully start a dialogue that will reverberate with many and maybe start a dialogue between couples. Stay tuned…

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