I have to admit that this article was inspired by watching way too many" Sex and the City" episodes lately. I am trying to complete all six seasons before the second movie debuts, and of course, it has given plenty of ideas for new articles. I am currently on Season Six; the current episode is one in which Charlotte is having a hard time adjusting to living with Harry after they tie-the-knot.
This brought up several interesting thoughts in my mind. When moving in with someone, you have to leave your "single person behavior" behind. It suddenly becomes a compromise, which is both good and bad. There are several reasons for moving in together. It could be marriage, financial considerations or the fact that the couple feels as though they have reached that next step in their relationship. Whatever it is, you can be sure that it will take a bit of compromise. If you're not married, you also have to consider the possibility that you could break up and be left in an awkward living situation. Moving in together can be a negative for many, but also proves to be a great step for others. Here are a few guidelines to help out in the cohabitation process:
1. If marriage isn't in the cards right now, you both need to be honest about what you want in the future. If one of you wants marriage and the other doesn't, it could be a sticky situation. Imagine this conversation if you wait to have it until you've already lived together for 18 months.
2. Be clear about financial obligations. We always hear how money issues have become the number one cause of divorce. Be sure to work out your financials so that you're on the same page of who is paying for what.
3. Make sure that you both are also clear about responsibilities around the house. If one person is always doing the dishes and laundry, eventually, said person will explode and an argument will most likely follow.
4. Try to manage to have individual lives. Living together is exciting, but some people can't handle being together 99.82% of the time. Try to keep your own identity in the process, but don't be selfish about it. Remember the golden word: compromise.
5. Pick your battles. Yes, he may leave the toilet seat up...but, you probably have a messy closet at times. Whatever it is, figure out what is really worth complaining about. If it bothers you, bring it up in a calm manner to let him/her know that it is bugging you.
6. Take care of each other. Relationships often lose the romance when bills and chores get in the way. Always try to think about the other person. If you do this, some of the romance has to stay alive.
All in all, moving in together is an exciting time in each couple's life. It could mean the beginning of your marriage, or it could simply be you've decided to do so for financial or personal reasons. Be prepared that there might be a few bumps in the road, but don't lose sight of the great journey that this will be.