According to Grandparents.com: Now it’s just you and your spouse, all the children have left home, suddenly without all the former distraction, your partner’s once tolerable behaviors are now just driving you plain crazy.
What to do? Jennifer Freed, Ph.D., a licensed marriage and family counselor in Santa Barbara, CA, offers these solutions to the most common complaints.
Find Peace with Free Time
“Now that he’s retired my husband has nothing to do, so he follows me around all day, even offering to drive me to meet my friends for lunch.”
Fix it: Without the job, many men turn into baby chicks that need a mother hen. Not a great marriage dynamic, but a temporary one that requires some patience. Keep your annoyance in check. It is okay to say, “I need some alone time.” He needs to figure out the next chapter of his life, by himself.
Make Room for "Me" Time
“My husband’s retired and I still work. When I get home, he just wants to talk. I want to scream, “Shut Up!”
Fix it: Excited to see you, he wants to reconnect. You have been dealing with people all day and want downtime. Try this: When you walk in the door, give him a hug and kiss. (This gets your biorhythms back in sync.) Then take some “me” time. Finally, create a ritual for reconnecting—meeting in the living room for a glass of wine and shared stories. (But no complaining)
Jealousy? Join In!
“Since we have become grandparents, my wife seems only interested in spending time with the grandchildren. What about me?”
Fix it: Let’s see—a big whiny baby or a small adorable baby—who would most women choose? It’s a no-brainer! Your best option: Get involved with the grandchildren alongside her. You have much to offer and when she sees you doing what she loves to do, she’ll be more amenable to doing what you like.
Last but not least, pray, take you problems and issues to the Lord.
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