Do we walk, jog or run on life’s conveyer belt that facilitates situations and synchronizations toward people that will challenge us and expose us to be more of who we really are? Our energy bodies cannot fool the forces of frequency and vibration that we emit to others. One way or another we will be directed toward someone that will break us open and allow our truths to emerge. What we believe to be true manifests itself into the fabric of our lives through language, feeling and emotion.
While traveling the path of experience, within relationship failures and successes, we start to envision the next incoming potential person will figure us out and it won’t be as much work as the last one; they will accept our quirks and indecisiveness because we will be soul mates; or, we will meet a person, who at surface, fulfills all our desires and expectations so it won’t take much effort to sustain because we will compromise.
These idealist perceptions become built-up beliefs we later have to dismantle in real relationship as silent personal myths and destructive assumptions which has kept us from living fully and loving without, vulnerability. Not surrendering into the vulnerability of our lives allows us to be sheltered by the shadow force of fears and doubts our ego wishes to highlight to keep us safe and separate. Yet, the majority of humans are looking to create connection, intimacy and long-term partnership. Vulnerability is an emotional force of deep impact diving into tender dense inner-oceans and dwelling raw truths.
Are we ready to cross the turbulent emotional waters to reach the shores of sensation and vulnerability?
Vulnerability is being defined here as: the ability to be open to receive the unknown responses to our authentic actions and feelings; to go forward with truth without temptation to control.
Communicating impaired feelings from previous love relationships breaks the barriers for real healing to begin for each other. Our first reaction may be to run, hide and act like things just can’t get better now, as we may have opened to our greatest fear: repeating the past is inevitable. Yet, this re-emergence is exactly the miracle needed to move closer to the lingering old pain and squeeze out its final meaning and intention. We can’t erase our past, but, we can choose to let it go.
Our attachment to relationship successes and failures graphs the progress report, of the now.
Cultivating vulnerability will overshadow any type of personal attack we may encounter from our partner while facing confusing conflicting aggressors with their past assumptions and present time relationship mayhem. We are not to judge, but indulge into the truth the person is sharing with us - their personal story of challenge and possible denial. The past continues to be present when we energize our thoughts, reactions and decisions made within the film of our memories. The reel gives our subconscious feed until we release the unwanted debris and negative held beliefs.
We may have played a difficult part in a break-up, been the cause of or created an emotional scene, but it is our opportunity to realize this is not us in the present moment; we are not that bad feeling or bad person. We may have guilt to forgive within ourselves, yet there is no place for shame. Knowing and exploring the difference between guilt and shame in our character will open us up to more compassionate and fearless vulnerability; one to share and nurture for ourselves.
As we continue to move through our love relationships we come to a place of feeling unfulfilled with our physical connection. As important as having a sensual union is, we can still feel like something is missing. As we practice being vulnerable, we create the yearning and space for true intimacy. Intimacy is the bond that transcends and blends all the senses into a silent security blanket that makes us feel totally loved and accepted. We carry these thoughts of being intimate with someone on the chest pocket of our heart. Men and women have radically different ideas about what intimacy is and how intimacy is to be received. When we make assumptions as to how we are to be loved in a physical nature, the scales can feel off balance and someone always complains about doing all the “work.”
Cooperation is more than taking out the trash and paying the rent; it is the steel bridge between successful and unsuccessful relationship.
Work is the expenditure of energy. Energy is what we give to people, situations and projects that matter most to us. It is not a wonder that many couples go through times of feeling exhausted and over worked in relationship. Allowing vulnerability to emerge will help in asking for what we need, not just what we expect.
Putting out our vulnerable selves and exploring intimacy requires mutual respect; one like that of a best friend would offer without hesitation or conditions. We have to provide a safe place for just about anything to occur or arise in relationship because, let’s face it, life happens. We can try things and fail, get angry for no reason, and make mistakes while using blame to hide our insecurities. Friendship honors all pieces of us. Friendship does not condemn and is more likely to offer the other forgiveness. Practiced vulnerability supports our partner with strengthen opportunity to share intimate secrets, failures and personal struggles where we may have only confided in a close friend before. Getting naked with our personal space is about as vulnerable as we can get. Taking off layer by layer, like a strip poker game player, will have us winning not losing every hand ,as the stakes are to let go of it all and not keep the kitty to ourselves.
Allow love to be enough.
The bottom line with long-term relationships is acceptance and acknowledgments that love will be enough to move through all the challenges and unexpected events life delivers. Love is the filler and the filament to the heart and the magical essence that becomes a potion to cure relationship ills. Yet, it is work and a 24 hour job. Relationships will take the clothes off each individual, figuratively and definitely, uncovering our deepest desires and fears with a courage that wins wars and walks through fire. Vulnerability stirs up the inner workings of each individual for liberation, not guilt or shame. Friendship fosters the vulnerable shadow that comes from behind us to face the light in relationship, garnering new meanings and intentions to create more love and cooperation. From releasing the hidden doubts we have about ourselves and others, we will blossom into our intended grandness finding a gentler more satisfying place to reside in our bodies and with others.
Love Courageously! Just LOVE