Given that I am the author of the popular paperback for single men, Mode One: Let the Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking - a book that encourages single heterosexual men to let women of interest know their romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions without engaging in a lengthy degree of 'entertaining chit chat' and 'trivial small talk' - many men and women have bombarded my Facebook inbox and e-mail inbox asking me about my opinion on a "social experiment" video that has attracted millions of views on YouTube.
The video is entitled, Asking 100 Girls For Sex (Social Experiment), and in it, we see a young college-age male (Jordan Tritton) who approaches one hundred women and straightforwardly asks these women would they be interested in having sex with him. All of them say - in one way or another - "no." One woman even throws a drink in his face.
First off, just about all of these "social experiment" videos produced by this group of young men and women from Santa Barbara are primarily geared toward attracting attention and entertaining the masses by executing various lighthearted 'pranks' (think about the former cable program, Punk'd on MTV or even before that, You're on Candid Camera! on CBS). Very few men and women are going to behave naturally when they suspect that they are being videotaped.
Normally, I would not even take time out of my day to discuss such a silly video, but again, since I have literally received over fifty messages asking my opinion on this video (e.g., "Is the behavior that the guy is exhibiting in the video representative of Mode One Behavior? If so, wouldn't you say Mode One leads to absolute failure and immediate rejection from women?")
First, I will offer some "positive" comments about the hugely popular video:
1. Give the young guy (Jordan) credit. He did approach one hundred women. How many single heterosexual men reading this article right now can say to their friends that they have approached one hundred women in the last three months? In the last six months? In the last year? In the last two years? I bet no more than 10-15% of the single men reading this article right now would be able to tell me with an honest, straight-face that they have approached one hundred plus women in the last six-to-twelve months.
2. Jordan avoided engaging in any type of lengthy "small talk," "chit chat," and/or "fluff talk" prior to letting it be known that he was interested in having sex with these one-hundred women. One of my many 'Mode One' principles is that men should significantly decrease the amount of "entertaining chit chat" and "trivial small talk" they engage in with women. I usually say no more than three-to-five minutes of "fluff talk" prior to letting your true desires, interests, and intentions be known. So, in this regard, I can say that Jordan's behavior was representative of being 'Mode One.'
3. Jordan, generally speaking, handled his "rejection" very well. No man should have an 'angry' or 'bitter' attitude toward women when they get rejected.
I always tell men: Rejection, in my opinion, is always "win-win." Why?
If a woman rejects a man because she is genuinely not interested in sharing that man's company in any sort of romantic or sexual manner, that is a 'win' for the man because that woman is preventing him from wasting both time and money pursuing her, when she already knows that she is never, ever going to have sex with him.
On the other hand, if a woman rejects a man ... but deep-down, she really is attracted to him, and interested in sharing his company in a romantic and/or sexual manner ... then at some point in the (near) future, that woman is going to attempt to communicate with that man again, and for the most part, the man will have the "upper hand" in their interactions with each other.
To use a baseball analogy, you will never become a "home run hitter" if you refuse to swing your bat because of a profound fear of "striking out." You cannot just stand in the batter's box, holding on to your bat tightly, but never swinging. If you are going to get 'rejected' (i.e., strike out), at least go down swinging.
Now, I will offer a few comments and criticisms regarding what bothered me about this video:
As I already alluded to, everything about the video is too "contrived" and "lighthearted" for my tastes. For example . . .
1. No man who was genuinely looking to have sex would approach two or more women and talk in that loud, "radio personality" / "television broadcaster" voice. Take it from a radio personality. No less than four out of every five times that I have let a woman know that I wanted to have sex with her in my first conversation with her, my mouth was literally no more than maybe one-fourth-of-an-inch from her left ear as I was conversing with her in an ultra-seductive, half-whisper tone. If you were standing more than two or three feet away from me, you would not be able to hear anything I was saying to a woman of interest when I am in "seduction mode."
2. Given that Jordan was standing so far away from most of the women, and talking so loudly, the vast majority of the women had to suspect they were being filmed, or that this was some sort of "practical joke." Knowing what I know about the ethics and legalities of filmmaking and videotaping, Jordan had to let the women know exactly what was going on either right before he started filming, or at the latest, right after he finished filming. This is one of the reasons why I never have done an "in-the-field video" showing me approaching women. I cannot upload footage of me conversing with a woman unless I either "blur out" her face or I have received a signed waiver form from her giving me permission to show her image on a video. Otherwise, I can be potentially sued by a woman who does not want her conversation with me to be seen and/or heard by the general public.
3. Are you telling me that a man who is not repulsively unattractive could not get ONE WOMAN to say "yes, I will have sex with you!" I am not buying that for one second. Starting with the age of seventeen and going up to the age of forty-seven, I do not think I have ever let one hundred women know that I wanted to have sex with them, and then have all one hundred women reject me. I am not saying that this type of rejection is "impossible" ... but I am saying that it is highly unlikely.
Let's say, for arguments sake, that Jordan and the other members of his producing team wanted to specifically send out the message that "if you ask women for sex directly, you will fail, and fail miserably." What type of message does this send out to single men? What message does this send out to single women?
#1 negative message this video sends out to single men: "You cannot be honest with women about your desire for short-term non-monogamous sex. You have to lie to women, mislead them, manipulate their emotions, and make them think you are going to be their next 'boyfriend' or future husband in order to motivate them to have sex with you. At bare minimum, you have to engage in a lengthy degree of trivial, inconsequential 'small talk' and offer them a few free meals before they will even think about agreeing to have (casual) sex with you. If you are upfront and straightforwardly honest with women about the fact that you primarily want to have sex with them, 99-100% of them will abruptly reject you."
Now tell me again why many women refer to men as "dogs," "liars," "cheaters," and "manipulators?" Please refresh my memory. Oh yeah, that's right. Because most men will DO ANYTHING and EVERYTHING BUT TELL THE TRUTH when they want to have (casual) sex with a woman.
#1 negative message this video sends out to single women: "Men who straightforwardly ask for sex are horny jerks, clowns or men who are secretly audio taping you and/or videotaping you. It is socially inappropriate for men to be verbally direct with women about their sexual desires, interests, and intentions. 'Pleasant lies' and misleading, manipulative 'head games' from men is what you should respond favorably to. A woman's sexual companionship should only be offered after a man has flattered us, entertained us, spent money on us, and given us the impression that he wants to be involved in a long-term, monogamous, emotionally profound romantic relationship with us ... even if his words are dishonest or disingenuous. A woman should never, ever behave as though short-term, non-monogamous 'casual' sex is even remotely appealing to us, even if deep-down, it is."
Now, if I wanted to, I could easily put together a video entitled, "Asking 100 Women for a One Night Stand or Weekend Fling" and show no less than half of the women responding favorably to me, or some other male I chose to be in the video (He or I could ask 350-400 women, and if only 100-125 of the women respond favorably, just edit out all of women who had an adverse response). Hey ... my female friends did not bestow me with the nickname, "The King of Verbal Seduction" for no valid reason.
And just for the record . . . if a woman approached me, and she was standing more than two feet away from men and talking in a fairly 'loud' voice .... and said, "Would you like to have sex with me?" I would either a) walk away very quickly or b) look around for the guy (or woman) with the video camera. That would not feel "real" to me.
But if that same woman approached me ... started caressing my hand ... and leaned into me and started whispering 'erotic dirty talk' into my left ear ... and THEN she asked me about having sex ...
... well, that is another story altogether.
Enjoy your weekend.
Alan Roger Currie is the author of a number of books, including Mode One: Let the Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking and Oooooh . . . Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex. Currie's latest eBook, The Possibility of Sex: How Naive and Lustful Men are Manipulated by Women Regularly is also available exclusively on Amazon.com in their Kindle format. You can also download a copy of Currie's eBook on your iPhone, Android Smartphone, or other Smartphone.
Upfront & Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie, the most-listened to talk radio podcast program in the category of "Romance" and self-help for dating singles on the BlogTalkRadio Internet Radio Network, can be heard LIVE every Thursday evening at 10:00pm EST / 7:00pm PST. Visit http://www.blogtalkradio.com/modeone and http://modeone.net for more details