Vh1.com video: Chilli talks about her abortion
with Dallas Austin, her relationship with Usher
Vh1.com video: Chilli talks about her abortion with Dallas Austin, her relationship with Usher
Chilli opened up in the below Vh1.com video, and expressed, like other women who've unveiled their abortion experiences, Chilli's regrets over being pressured to have an abortion when she didn't really want one.
"I got pregnant the first time and chose to not have it...one of the biggest mistakes," Chilli said in the below VH1 video, speaking to a therapist about her relationship with TLC's first producer, Dallas Austin.
"Because I didn't want to do that. I'm 20, my career hadn't really started. How can I be a mommy? It messed me up. It broke my spirit," she surmised.
"I feel like I became um, not my strong self anymore," Chilli said. "I felt like I gave in and I broke to what someone else wanted.
About the abortion aftermath she said: "And I would break down and I would just cry...because I wasn't a mommy."
"I cried almost every day for almost 9 years. And then I was caught up...I had to have a baby," she revealed.
"I had to have this baby with him, because the baby that I didn't have was with him," Chilli explained her reasoning at the time -- but the relationship with Austin did not last, although the two get along as parents now, and Austin was seen popping in on a dinner with Chilli and son Tron in the same episode as they dined on sushi and Chilli taught Tron how to treat a lady some day.
"[Dallas] was always being true to himself. I was compromising who I was to be with him," Chilli continued to explain to the therapist the reasons behind her long and punishing list for future men.
"My next relationship was with Usher. My heart was like, 'Oh I love him, I want to be with him' but it wasn't working," she said.
Watch Chilli talk about her abortion with Dallas Austin, and her relationship with Usher that didn't work:
Comments
Hey Chilli, I have a brother that may fit your list, except he likes pork.His name is Harvey Housley.He is 40ish,church going man,no drinking,no smoking,hard working.And he loves his children(two baby mommas,that's the limit right)nice body,military man,Keeps himself nice and clean.Give him a try!
Hello Chilli. Must I say, I can understand what you feel and what you may want out a man. It's good to be specific and all, but I thought that when "We" as faithful women and men to god and ourselves! We shall follow the will of god for a husband/wife; and or a very strong soul mate. Gurl, I can tell you you this. I'm no minister or physiolist, but I believe you should just free yourself to allow god to guide the right person in you life. Because many times we may ask for something in specific, and time we get it, it's nothing we really want. Be care for what you ask for, and allow god to lead the way for the strong whole in your life for love and all that shall be unfold to you. Be bless and much love to you sister.
chilli i believe you are a strong a outgoing person, and things happen its life it was a mistake but at the time u was not ready for a child so u didnt want to rasie it in a wrong expression so there is alot of ppl that can relate to your story inculding me so keep your head up and stay strong cuz the only person can judge you is god so stay strong and keep pushing forward!!!!!!!!!!!!
God bless you Chilli... what you felt was right. It was natural and what God gifted you with in life. He gave you that first baby and He gave you next. I'm praying for you -- peace and grace that only God can place within you. Much love to you.
My heart goes out to you. I feel your pain very deeply. I was in a similar situation in 1982. My boyfriend of 4 years insisted that I abort if I wanted to keep him. He said his family would disown him if he had a child out of wedlock. I was a recent college graduate and he had a four months to graduate himself. We had been planning for years to marry after graduation and finding jobs. I was excited about being the mother of our child despite our current nonwed status. Unfortunately, I did not reach out to my family (who would have been very supportive of me and my baby despite the status). I put his desires first, before my own and before God. I cried before, during and after the procedure. When the nursed asked was I being coerced as I was crying, I should have said yes; but I remembered my promised to him over the phone and I said "no" with tears rolling down my cheeks. It was the absolute worst day of my life. He broke it off anyway. He:married-2 boys; me-not and childless.
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